At first, I held out firmly.
I’m not a child.
It’s such a childish bully.
I snorted thinking it was funny.
However, as time passed, the hard heart was worn out.
The head, which I had always held up proudly, went down from a certain moment.
People’s eyes were terrifying.
I was afraid of them looking at me, pointing fingers, and the disregard and contempt in their passing eyes.
Sometimes I just wanted to run away.
But I clenched my teeth and persevered.
When I was really tired, I closed my eyes and thought of my family.
People who really loved me for me.
I imagined their smiles.
In the past, when nothing happened.
Just like I did before I was forced to become the new Helena.
Then I could endure it.
I’ve been fed up with enduring alone anyway, so it’s no different this time.
It’s just that there’s been a little more people bothering me.
If I healed myself like that, I could bear it.
It really was.
Really I was fine.
I thought so.
Until one day, Aslan suddenly asked me this.
[Your complexion is bad.
Is there something going on?]
Was it that obvious?
I opened my mouth hesitantly as I groped the face that was supposed to have an awkward smile on it.
[Yes, I… … .]
As always, I tried to say I was fine.
But the moment I saw Aslan’s worried face, I was speechless.
Why can’t the words that should come out automatically like a habit get stuck in my throat?
My eyelids fluttered in a sense of dread.
Aslan’s eyes, looking at me silently, gave me an even heavier worry.
The moment I saw my tired face in his eyes, I realized it.
In the meantime, the thought that I was okay with it, but it was nothing more than deceiving myself in order to endure the harsh reality.
Actually, I wasn’t okay with it at all.
I was awakened by the low voice calling me.
I came out of my deep thoughts and slowly blinked my eyes.
I could see Aslan, who had an impression on me, examining my complexion.
[Is it really okay?]
In an instant, my heart started pounding .
I wanted to cling to him.
The truth is that people ignore me, so I wanted to complain that it was hard.
But I couldn’t.
Aslan has already sacrificed a lot just by marrying me.
I didn’t want to put an additional burden on him.
At this level, I have to endure and overcome by myself.
Haven’t I been able to overcome even more pain than this?
Thinking like that, I purposely smiled brightly.
Despite my blunt answer, Aslan still furrowed his eyebrows.
He asked again.
[Are you really okay?]
I took a deep breath.
And smiled softly.
It’s really okay.]
Having said this, Aslan seemed to find it more difficult to ask again.
He licked his lips as if he wanted to say something, but then let out a soft sigh.
[…… If you ever need anything, please tell me.
I’ll do anything for your request.]
Of course, I haven’t asked him for anything since then.
It was because I felt sorry for him, but I didn’t have to borrow his hand anymore.
People who deliberately raised their voices to listen to me started to be careful about their mouths.
Still, when I passed by, they gleamed with strange eyes.
However, the people who used to whisper to each other from behind disappeared.
I was skeptical of the sudden change, but I couldn’t figure out why.
But more relief than curiosity, I dreamed of a better future instead of wondering about the unknown.
As time goes by, the hatred and jealousy towards me will fade, so I will be able to adjust to this cold social world.
Because I’m not an ugly human being that the whole world hates, so soon I’ll be able to interact with people who like me.
But three years later, nothing has changed.
I am still isolated.
Both inside and outside the Tordell mansion.
Rosalyn was perfectly acclimatized within a week of coming here.
“Is it the difference between the main character and the extra… … .”
It made me laugh to say this.
But the self-confidence that hit the rock bottom made me feel ashamed.
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