The Tyrant Wants To Live Honestly

I hate myself who knows I can’t do it with Theon, but I’ve already put him in misfortune once, but my body and mind are shaken by one of his eyes.

Ironically, I only wanted to look like a perfect, beautiful, and wonderful figure in front of him.

I wanted to show the image of a princess who was recognized by Carnan and kept her place in a beautiful way at the party.

I didn’t like that.
My feelings of wanting to show him that still.

Besides, my bad heart was deeply jealous of Julie who stood by his side.

‘I know that Theon never loves me.’

He still had Julia, and I was still Dorothea.

For Theon, I built a splendid palace that will go down in history, made the most fragrant garden, gave him a rare and beautiful bird he had never seen before, and gave him clothes and jewelry that everyone would envy, but I couldn’t get his love.

A heart that could not be turned no matter how hard I tried.

‘But what am I expecting?’

The answer is already there, but the foolish regret kept pretending not to know and forcing it.

I have to let Theon go.

However, the stains left by the juice he gave me seemed not to be erased no matter how much I washed them.

Tok-Tok

knocking on the door.

“Dorothea, are you okay?”

And the voice I didn’t really want.

I bit my lip tight.

“I came here because I was worried.
You see, His Majesty…”

“Leave me alone, Ray!”

I covered my ears and shouted at the door.

I don’t know why he, today’s main character, left the banquet hall and came up to my room.

But Ray didn’t give up and shouted at the door.

“Parties are no fun.
So Dorothea, shall we play together?”

His words eventually blew up my feelings that I had barely held back.

I walked over to a door and slammed the door open.

“This is not a place where you can get out like this just because it’s not fun! If you are a crown prince, act like a crown prince! Don’t just think about playing, do what you have to do and do it right!”

A nervous voice echoed through the hallway.

Then Rey made a bewildered face and trembled as if he was about to cry.

“I mean…I’m worried about Dorothea…”

“No need to worry about me!”

So please stop paying attention to me and go away.

“Princess…”

At that moment, an ominous voice came from one side.

No way…When I turned my head, Theon and Julie were standing side by side in the hallway.

In an instant, my heart fell into the dark abyss.

Why are Theon and Julie here…

“Theon and Julie came to play together…”

Ray said in a weeping voice.

As soon as I opened the door, I was shooting at Rey, so I didn’t know they were there.
I looked back at the two of them with surprised expressions and stepped back into the door.

‘No.
These are not the things I want to show you.’

But I made no excuses before them.  Instead, I slammed the door again and locked it as if running away from them.
I lost strength in my legs and my head was dizzy, so I sat down in front of the door.

‘What will Theon think of me now?’

A rude and bad-tempered person who is despised by my father, the emperor, and dares to get angry even with the crown prince.
Anything else?

I buried my face in my hands and crouched down.
How dare I think of being loved on a subject like this?

Even though I hate myself so much, who would like me?

I made a mistake and I burst into tears.
I hated myself crying more, so I curled up smaller and hid from the world.

* * * 

I couldn’t get out of bed for several days after that.
It wasn’t a cold, but I had a fever and felt sick.

“she is a healthy person…”

“It must have been a shock to the princess that day.”

The doctor who came to the examination said, ‘she’s so smart,’ he added a little.

“If you rest well, you will be well in a few days.”

The doctor prescribed me a fever reducer and left.

I just get sick of something like that.
I was so pathetic and weak that so tried to hate myself again.

“Princess, if you are bored, can I bring you a book?”

The nanny tried to make me feel better.
I’m sorry for the nanny trying to take care of a child like me.

“Nanny, how about moving to another palace?”

“Yes?”

“It’s hard work here.
The other servants come and go for a little while, and the rest is up to the nanny.”

“What do you mean is hard? There is no other place as comfortable as here.
How lucky it is to have someone as smart as the princess.”

The nanny laughed that she had nothing to do because I didn’t mess up or complain.

“So, be a little messy and complain about it, Princess.
The princess is too mature and she tries to do everything by herself.”

The nanny gently stroked my hair.
When I was eight, I thought I was pretty big now, but the nanny’s hands felt so big.

“If I get messy and complain, the nanny will be annoyed.”

“I am here to do that.”

“It will be annoying.”

Even if she said that I knew well that I would soon get angry if I was grumpy, messy, and bothered.

For my nanny, I am probably a good girl who doesn’t make trouble and listens well.

It would not be easy to do all the miscellaneous things alone in this lonely Konberta Palace, but I didn’t want to add difficulty to it.

“I will live a good life.”

I didn’t want to pretend to be a bad child.

* * *

Two months later, I turned nine.

But that didn’t change anything.
Few people still visited the Palace of Conberta.

Ray hasn’t come to visit me since that day.
He looked pretty busy after becoming the Crown Prince and entering Episteme.

‘I was even angry that day.’

Rey’s crying face flashed through my head.
now He hates me, he won’t come to me That’s good.

Now I just have to live a good life without any disturbance.

“Dorothea…”

Rey, who I thought would never come again, stood in front of the door and looked at me, crouching, leaning on the bed.

“I brought you a present.”

Ray, who can’t come in looking at me?

Even though I was so angry that day, how could you think of coming to see me? It’s crazy, but are you really stupid?

As I looked at him in an awkward way, Ray sneaked into the room, as if he had accepted my silence as a sign of affirmation.
In his hand was a basket of tomatoes that he had brought as a gift.

Suddenly, what tomato?

“It’s the first tomato I’ve grown myself!”

Ray proudly held up the tomato basket and smiled brightly.

a tomato? So, does that mean that the Crown Prince was sitting while growing tomatoes?

Ray has been quite busy with his official attendance at Episteme.
He has just become the Crown Prince, so he must have a lot of new things to learn and a lot to do.

But he was wasting His time plowing the fields like this?

“Growing tomatoes is fun.
I also planted pumpkins and eggplants!”

Ray confessed that he had built a vegetable garden behind Stipes Palace, the Crown Prince’s palace, without Carnan’s knowledge.

I knew in my previous life that Ray was gardening.

However, at the time, Rey and I were not on the same side as we are now.
Although it is difficult to say that we are still on the same side – so Rey tried to hide that fact from me as much as possible.

Ray probably thought that I would ruin his garden if I told him about it.

It was indeed the right choice.
If he had told me about the garden before returning, I would have ruined it.

Anyway, that’s why I knew that the garden was just a piece of curiosity.

However, since I have accepted him to some extent in this life, He has easily confided his secrets.
stupidly.

“You didn’t study, did you grow up like this?”

I looked at the tomatoes and asked.

To the Crown Prince, while attending Episteme, he was not faithful to it and was immersed in his favorite game.

[If you are a prince, act like a prince! Don’t just think about playing, do what you have to do and do it right!]

Why did I get angry when I said this to him? A feeling of betrayal came over me.

Unlike me, who lived desperately, Ray lived happily.

That way, he could have become an emperor.

‘I didn’t have time to care about the garden or anything, I only ran to defeat you, but you were still a legitimate prince.’

“I studied in my spare time.”

When my bruise flew sharply, Ray made a discouraged excuse.

Spare time? At those words, laughter broke out.

Instead of studying in his spare time, He should have been growing tomatoes in his spare time.
No, he should have studied while growing tomatoes.

The host was too forward even if he was overturned.

He was already eleven years old.
Now he knows what to do, but why is he so innocent and immature?

Is it because everything is easy? 

Everything was given for free?

How much I have tried to get what was just given to you!

I forcefully swallowed anything I wanted to get mad at him and tried to rationalize it.

“You can’t be a good emperor in that way, Ray.”

Be nice, yes, be nice.

At the same time, I felt like Ray would not become emperor.

‘Why it is you? Why is the Spirit of Light only visible to you?’

Greed raises my head again, and I remember my sins again and forcefully break my greed.

No matter what Ray was, it was true that I did not become a good emperor.

“Ah… Well…”

Rey’s expression hardened at my words and he bowed his head.

Ah, well, yes.
Was it going to end with such a silly statement? Contrary to my core feelings, his answer was too light.

He glanced at me and slowly put down the tomato basket.

“Still, Dorothea, try the tomatoes.
It will be delicious.”

Whether he understood me or not, he continued talking about tomatoes. 

I turned away from the tomato basket he had put down.
It’s obvious that if the great Crown Prince postponed his studies and ate the tomatoes he grew as a hobby, he would pretend to be.

When I didn’t respond, he nodded.

“Of course, I’ll do well in Episteme and become a great older brother.”

It was an unbelievable promise.

I don’t need a nice brother.
Cause I don’t want a nice brother.
So, make sure you cover your face properly.

The words reached his lips, then swallowed again into the depths of I

My heart.

“But Dorothy, don’t you want to go outside?”

Rey noticed that I was getting dark and quickly changed the subject.

“Why?”

“Dorothy has never been outside the Imperial Palace.”

In his words, I understood.
By the time I was nine years old, I had never left the Imperial Palace as if I was locked in a castle.

I didn’t have any friends to go out with, and I didn’t have anything to do.
I didn’t even go to Episteme, so I had no reason to go out.
Everything I needed was in the Imperial Palace, and if I needed anything, I could just call a person to the Imperial Palace.

A tailor came to the palace to match clothes, and the imperial chef provided what I wanted to eat.
If I want to take a walk, go out to the large Imperial Palace garden where I can walk all day.

Moreover, as I had already become an emperor and traveled all over the empire, I was not curious about the outside world.

“How about going out? It’s frustrating to be in the Imperial Palace.”

Ray seems to have had fun going out while going to Episteme recently.

Ray explained that there were a lot of things outside the Imperial Palace and other things.

How many people, how humble they are, how many unfamiliar objects are on the street.

He made a great introduction outside the imperial palace, where he had been to a new continent that had not been discovered anywhere.

He really knows me as a fool.

Everything he was talking about was all I knew.

Things that are common without knowing it, but are rare to see in this old-fashioned imperial palace.

“If Dorothy goes out, I’m sure it will be fun.
Because you are smart, you will feel a lot of things.”

he smiled brightly.

“Would you like to go out with me someday?”

“No.”

Ray was sullen when I refused with a single word.