Attention all passengers.

This is your new cabin attendant, phizzlepop, picking up SSSG from my fabulous qianbeis, Ch1yo and beansprout plus their lovely editors.
I’ll be taking care of you guys for the rest of this journey by providing fresh weekly half-chapters, since each chapter is a bit too long for comfortable digestion in one sitting. 

We all know we’re here on angst train 888 led by the ever-fearless conductor Ye Ming to cultivate our tear duct strength, so without further ado, let us depart together from this brief stop and go onwards to the next station! ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶

Edited by: valaintime

 

 

The sky-blue gemstone necklace was heartlessly discarded like trash by its owner on the ground, covered in dust, battered and pitiful… mocking the feelings between the two that’d been shattered beyond repair and the trust that’d been lost long ago.

Lu Xiuwen gripped Ye Ming with slightly more strength, his thin lips pressed together tightly.
He wanted to explain, yet he didn’t know what he should say. 

Ye Ming looked coldly at Lu Xiuwen, “Let go of me.”

 

There was repressed pain in Lu Xiuwen’s eyes.
He’d exhausted his efforts to try and change it all, to prevent it all… but Ye Ming had ultimately still met up with Song Qin.
He’d thought that in this life he’d be able to reverse the situation, but things had ultimately still moved bit by bit along the trajectory of his previous life.
Could it be that, in the end, he’d still be unable to recover this person?

Even after being reborn, was he unable to fix his mistakes, unable to change fate?

He was silent for a long time, then hoarsely asked, “Xiao Ran… What did Song Qin tell you? He’s my business rival so what he says isn’t necessarily credible.
Even if you don’t trust me… it doesn’t mean you should trust him.”

 

Ye Ming looked fixedly at Lu Xiuwen’s face, the corners of his lips slowly pulling into a bitter arc.
He was already no longer as naive and foolish as before.
Unlike his past self, he wouldn’t so easily trust a person who’d inexplicably appeared next to him, a ‘good person’ who seemed concerned about him.

It wasn’t that Ye Ming doubted Lu Xiuwen’s sentence about Song Qin being his business rival, that his words hid ulterior motives, but– even if he had ulterior motives, this time he was merely revealing the truth you hid from me, right?

Ye Ming’s lips moved slightly, his gaze indifferent, “He only told me that you used to be in love with my mother.
Back then you made a huge fuss at her wedding and forced her to leave together with my father.
The reason you adopted me was all because of her.”

Lu Xiuwen was slightly stunned.
What Song Qin said in this life was different from in his previous life.
There actually wasn’t a lie fabricated about him killing the Gu Xueya couple. 

The look in Ye Ming’s eyes was filled with sorrow.
He chuckled and said to Lu Xiuwen, “What he said, was it a lie?”

Lu Xiuwen was unable to refute this.
This time Song Qin didn’t lie, but the more it was like this… the more deadly it was instead, because he couldn’t even take out what he’d prepared earlier to overturn Song Qin’s lies.

The direction things were moving in had subtly changed.

We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection.
If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.

Ye Ming only took one look at Lu Xiuwen’s expression and knew the answer. 

It was probably just as Song Qin said.
This was something many people knew about, so Lu Xiuwen could no longer lie to him.
The truth was the truth, it was impossible for paper to cover fire.

Pa kjr pera tlw ktb obbilrtis vlvc’a xcbk, atja’r jii.
Zjsyf fnfc Itjcu Lbcuhtl jcv atf batfgr jii xcfk, rb atja kjr kts atfs wjvf oec bo tlw ilxf atja.

Qtja tf agerar lrc’a Vbcu Hlc’r lcralujalbc, ktja tf agerar lr pera atf ageat– atf yibbvs jcv wfgmlifrr ageat.
Lf erfv ab cjlnfis atlcx atja Oe Wlekfc gfjiis pera atbeuta bo tlr wbatfg jr j rlrafg, atja tf gfjiis kjr pera j xlcv qfgrbc ktb abbx tlw lc, tlr yfibnfv ecmif…

Ye Ming’s hands slightly trembled.
He felt as though his throat had stiffened, almost like he couldn’t speak, but he still wanted to ask clearly, so that he would no longer hold onto luck in his heart. 

He opened his mouth, every word he uttered like a slash on his heart, his eyes filled with agony, “If it hadn’t been for my mother, you would’ve never taken me in, right? The reason you treated me so well was also because you’re in love with her.”

Although Ye Ming sounded like he had calmed down, looking like he wasn’t as angry as before, Lu Xiuwen could feel that, right now, he was actually, truly losing this person, just like in his previous life.

 

He looked miserably at Ye Ming and said, “She’s my relative.
Is there something wrong with me taking in her child? As for me still being in love with her, that’s basically just talk without basis!”

Ye Ming continued to look at him tranquilly and said, “Oh, really?” 

Lu Xiuwen didn’t want to see Ye Ming acting like this any longer.
With a pained look, he said, “If this was all you wanted to talk about, then there was no need.
Didn’t you know about these things already? Sure, it was because of her that I took you in, but me treating you well wasn’t just for her, but because I love you.
I did like her in the past, but that was a long time ago, and the person I’m in love with now is you.”

You love me?

Ye Ming’s heart was covered in a film of ice. Is the person you’re in love with really me? Or is it through me that you’re loving someone else?

You love me, but would use these kinds of methods to scheme against me? 

Don’t say these kinds of words anymore.
I’m already this miserable, because I can only resent myself… I can’t resent my deceased mother, I can’t resent you who fostered and raised me, I can only hate how I have to be the one to face these kinds of things, but now I don’t want to continue like this anymore.

Ye Ming lifted the corner of his lips slightly, asking one final question, “Inside that necklace, there’s a tracker, right?”

Lu Xiuwen’s complexion finally changed.

Ye Ming gave a hollow laugh, shook off Lu Xiuwen and said resolutely, “I already have all the answers that I wanted, so now I can tell you– I don’t need you to love me and I don’t need you to treat me well so insincerely.
As long as you don’t bother me again in the future and don’t show up in front of me, then that’s good enough.” 

As soon as he finished speaking, he turned around to leave.

He’s had enough, he’s already had enough of all of this.
He just wanted to stay far away from Lu Xiuwen, stay far away from this person who brought him all of his happiness and all of his suffering.

Lu Xiuwen looked at his empty hand.
In a daze, he lifted his gaze again to watch Ye Ming’s back gradually fade into the distance.

Like in the previous life, he met Song Qin, believed Song Qin’s words, then was determined to leave him.
This time, if he lets him leave… he was afraid that even until his death he’d never see this person ever again. 

The gemstone necklace on the ground that was abandoned like an old shoe by its owner seemed to be taunting him.
Look… you invested all of your thoughts and tactics, but in the end, didn’t you just go back to where you started from?

You’re incapable of controlling this person, he’s destined to leave you.

Lu Xiuwen’s eyes reddened, the darkness and agony entangling in the depths of his eyes, watching as Ye Ming left step by step, going farther and farther away from him… like a kite with a broken string, finally going towards a place he can never reach.

In the past, because of this, he experienced pain with no desire for life.
When he died he swore to possess this person forever, so that he’d never be able to leave him again, so with his rebirth, even if he was not selective with his methods, he still wanted to obtain this person.
But the ending was nonetheless the same as the one in his previous life. 

Why won’t you believe that I love you? Why won’t you believe me?

Why must you always leave me?!

 

【Ding.
Lu Xiuwen’s Blackening Value: +15.
Current Blackening Value: 30】

Seeing that Ye Ming’s figure was about to disappear from Lu Xiuwen’s sight, he suddenly took long strides forward, grabbed onto Ye Ming’s hand, voice hoarse and low, “Come home with me.” 

Ye Ming didn’t think that Lu Xiuwen would catch up with him again, and tried hard to get rid of Lu Xiuwen’s hand.
But this time, Lu Xiuwen’s hand was like iron tongs, making his wrists ache, but couldn’t be shaken off no matter what.
Finally, his voice was no longer peaceful, and he shouted indignantly, “Let go of me! That place isn’t my home! It isn’t!”

Lu Xiuwen’s expression didn’t change.
The corners of his lips lifted slightly, revealing an indecipherable smile as he said, “Are you done throwing your tantrum? If you’re done, then come home obediently, don’t say such things, okay?”

Don’t say such chilling, heartrending words.

Hearing this, Ye Ming was even angrier! Was all of this, in Lu Xiuwen’s eyes, just him having a temper tantrum? 

Lu Xiuwen acted as though he had turned into a completely different person and without the slightest regard for Ye Ming’s resistance, directly grabbed his wrist and dragged him outside, forcibly stuffed him into the car, then calmly ordered the driver, “Go home.”

Ye Ming was reaching over, about to pull open the car door to get out, when Lu Xiuwen expressionlessly pulled off his own tie and used it to bind his hands behind his back, then pressed his upper body down onto his own lap.
Looking down at him, he said unhurriedly, “Don’t squirm, it’s not safe.”

Ye Ming didn’t think that Lu Xiuwen would actually tie him up and started struggling desperately, his eyes reddening.
“What do you want to do?!”

Lu Xiuwen’s fingertips lightly brushed across Ye Ming’s face as he gently said, “I said it before, let’s go home.” 

I thought that by giving you some freedom, you’d calm down a bit and listen to me.
I thought that indulging you could make you reconsider… But I was wrong.
You were just provoked by Song Qin once again, and wanted to leave me once again.

I didn’t want to do things this way, but I have no choice but to do things this way.
As long as I lock you up, you’ll never be able to leave my side.

Lu Xiuwen lowered his head and kissed Ye Ming’s forehead.
These days, there was neither a time nor a moment when he didn’t want to touch this person, but he could only bitterly suppress his impulses and maintain a distance between them, not showing up before him.
But, he didn’t want to restrain himself anymore.

If no matter what you’ll still want to leave, then I can only use this method to keep you here. 

Ye Ming was hardly Lu Xiuwen’s opponent.
He was imprisoned in his arms, unable to move, and soon the car drove them back home.
Lu Xiuwen directly carried Ye Ming out and placed him on the living room sofa.
But, instead of releasing his tied hands, he held him tightly in his embrace and said soothingly, “We’re home now, don’t make a fuss, okay? Don’t think arbitrarily or speculate randomly, my heart only has you in it.”

Ye Ming glared at Lu Xiuwen.
Tears welled up in his eyes and when he couldn’t hold them back anymore, they flowed down.
He crazily shouted, “Go away! Let go of me, and go away!”

“What right do you have to do this! I want to leave this place, I don’t want to see you!”

He was about to go crazy, how did things turn out this way? Was this still that Lu Xiuwen who was unfailingly gentle and considerate? Or had Lu Xiuwen pretended to be gentle and finally lost his patience, unwilling to act any longer, and would rather use these measures just to make him stay… 

You really love my mother this much?

But no matter how much Ye Ming cried out and struggled, Lu Xiuwen wouldn’t let go.
He couldn’t let go of him again.
If he were to let go of this hand one more time, he would completely lose this person.

 

He just continued to hug Ye Ming tightly, making sure that he still had this person.

Ye Ming wailed, his eyes clouded with haziness, his vision gradually blurring.
This day he experienced too much and learned the incomparably cruel truth.
He already knew about Lu Xiuwen’s actual feelings and only wanted to leave… this person was unwilling to let him go, insisting on bringing him back. 

This wasn’t the person that he loved, this was just a demon that refused to spare him.

He’d never once actually given him a chance to choose for himself.

Ye Ming cried and cried, not knowing how much time had passed, eventually couldn’t hold on anymore and, in the end, still fell asleep in Lu Xiuwen’s arms.

Lu Xiuwen looked down at Ye Ming’s face and lightly wiped away the tears on his face. 

Sorry, but I can’t set you free.

Ye Ming flipped over.
Underneath him was a big, soft bed with a familiar fresh scent, and not that narrow wooden bed at school in a small room that didn’t even have air conditioning.
How blissful!

Plus, he didn’t have to work part-time and fight a battle of wits and courage with those bear-children anymore.
Thinking of this, Ye Ming was almost moved to tears.

 

 

【Ye Ming: I’m finally home.
I love my home.
My home is the coziest harbor in this world, a safe refuge for wanderers.
I’d rather die here than be a child without a home to return to.】

【888: …】mmp 

Ye Ming was so hungry his stomach growled, and he sluggishly opened his eyes and shifted a bit.
He found himself in Lu Xiuwen’s arms, then struggled to get out.

 

Lu Xiuwen gently, but firmly, clutched Ye Ming’s wrist.
A low voice sounded near his ear, “Don’t move.”

Ye Ming was stunned for a moment, then promptly realized that he seemed to have bumped into something stiff and hard.
At this moment, all his memories of being affectionate with Lu Xiuwen rushed into his mind.

Next to him was this person, and the tip of his nose was also filled with his scent.
This man once aggressively possessed him, ruthlessly ravaging him…

 

Ye Ming flushed, but this time it wasn’t wholly out of shyness, but more so outrage and pain.
Even now… he was still unable to forget about everything this man had brought to him.
He despised himself for being like this, how he couldn’t forget about all of these things.

Ye Ming gritted his teeth and looked at him with red eyes, lips pale.

Lu Xiuwen had to exhaust his strength just to restrain himself from touching Ye Ming.
Now looking at his gaze filled with shame, the stifled feeling in his heart was indescribable… He fell silent for a long time, then let go of Ye Ming and walked out.

Ye Ming didn’t think that Lu Xiuwen would actually let go.
He was briefly stunned, then put on his slippers and rushed downstairs.
He was leaving this place! 

But to his surprise, the front door was locked! Even the lock itself had been changed.
Ye Ming went around the house and discovered that the doors and windows in the house had all been replaced by Lu Xiuwen.
He was actually unable to leave this place!

Ye Ming was so enraged his entire body quivered.
What did Lu Xiuwen mean by this, did he want to confine him here?!

At this time, Lu Xiuwen came out of the kitchen carrying breakfast.
He looked gently at Ye Ming and said, “Come eat, Xiao Ran.”

Ye Ming slowly turned around to look at him. 

How could this man do such a thing and still look so nonchalant? What right did he have to act like before, like nothing had happened, and call him to go over and eat.
The familiar scene in front of him stabbed at Ye Ming’s eyes.

We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection.
If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.

We can never go back, so why can’t you just let me go, why can’t you just let me off!

Tf Zlcu ibbxfv ja tlw jcv rcffgfv.
“P’w cba tecugs.”

Oe Wlekfc’r ujhf vjgxfcfv, yea tf delmxis mbcmfjifv la.
Lbk mbeiv tf cba yf tecugs? Pa’r qgbyjyis yffc jc fcalgf vjs jcv cluta rlcmf tf ijra jaf, gluta? Lf mifcmtfv tlr olrar, aegcfv, jcv kjixfv abkjgvr Tf Zlcu. 

Tf Zlcu atbeuta bo Oe Wlekfc’r jmalbcr ogbw sfrafgvjs jcv klatbea fnfc atlcxlcu, aegcfv jgbecv jcv oifv! Dea, Oe Wlekfc’r wbnfwfcar kfgf ojrafg jcv tf ugjyyfv tlr kjlra, vgjuulcu tlw yjmx! Oe Wlekfc lucbgfv Tf Zlcu rageuuilcu jcv obgmfv tlw ab rla vbkc bc tlr ijq jcv rjlv, “Tbe rtbeiv fja rbwfatlcu, batfgklrf sbeg ybvs kbc’a yf jyif ab rajcv la.”

Ye Ming gnashed his teeth stubbornly, looking as though he wouldn’t eat even he was beaten to death.

 

Lu Xiuwen stared at him for a while, then sighed almost imperceptibly.
He abruptly scooped up some porridge and drank a mouthful, then pinched Ye Ming’s chin with one hand, his fingers exerting some strength and forcing him to open his lips, then lowered his head and moved in with a kiss!

Ye Ming thrashed his legs about, desperately trying to break free from Lu Xiuwen’s hold, but once this man tore away his gentle exterior, his strength was something Ye Ming absolutely couldn’t resist! 

The porridge dribbled down the corners of the two people’s lips.
Lu Xiuwen didn’t mind and continued to take sips and feed Ye Ming just like this!

Ye Ming was so angry, his face flushed! Breathing rapidly, he realized that he was no match for Lu Xiuwen, and any further resistance would be futile.
He finally revealed a look filled with grief and indignation, and said, “Enough! I can eat by myself!”

Lu Xiuwen paused.
He dutifully let go of Ye Ming, placed him on the chair next to him, and said softly, “I’ll go get another bowl for you.”

Saying that, he got up and went to the kitchen again to ladle out another serving for Ye Ming.
He placed it in front of him, and said with a low, soothing voice, “Eat.” 

Ye Ming glared at the bowl in front of him, body trembling, teeth gritted hatefully… he… in the past he actually had some fantasies about this person.
The reason he pretended to be so gentle was simply to lull him into a false sense of security, right? Now that he knows that he can’t fool him anymore, he’s finally revealed his true colors, right?

This is what your original appearance is like, isn’t it? Without any consideration for whether I’m in pain or not, whether I’m sad or not, as long as you can control everything…

Once you’re tired of playing this game of tag, you can do whatever you’d like with me anyway, since I can’t escape from the palm of your hand.

Liar.
You’re this world’s most despicable and shameless liar. 

Ye Ming lowered his head, and in the end, still picked up the spoon, tears falling drop by drop into his bowl.

This used to be his favorite.
The chef at home really understood his tastes, so he especially liked to eat at home.
But, the things he once liked now only brought him pain, and the things that were left were all just unbearable memories.

Lu Xiuwen saw that Ye Ming was finally eating obediently, and was slightly relieved.
However, the depression in his heart didn’t ease a single bit, because Ye Ming was clearly unhappy.

He was crying. 

This was the person in his heart that he’d been carefully cherishing for more than ten years.
He was reluctant to knock or bump against him even a little bit, but now he was the one who was forcing him, making him distressed.

Lu Xiuwen was tormented.
He’d never regretted his own actions this much before.

Lu Xiuwen walked over, lightly stroked Ye Ming’s back, and whispered into his ear, “Sorry, I shouldn’t have deceived you.
But, it’s really true that I love you.”

He paused a bit, then added, “As for me liking your mother in the past, I didn’t deliberately hide it from you, I just didn’t think there was any need to tell you.
After all, it happened 20 years ago… Maybe at the beginning I adopted you because of her, but after so many years have passed, my feelings for you’ve long had nothing to do with her.” 

Ye Ming was held in Lu Xiuwen’s embrace.
He didn’t even have the strength to struggle anymore.
He’d never hated his own powerlessness this much before.

Because he had no way to resist, he could only stay by this person’s side, and listen to his so-called explanations.
He could say whatever he wanted to anyway, all he could do was listen.

 

Lu Xiuwen hugged Ye Ming, his gaze bitter.

He truly loved this person, but this person wouldn’t believe him.
This was probably one of the most powerless things in the world. 

Even if he could dig out his own heart, he still wouldn’t be able to prove that his heart really belonged to him.
Once trust was lost, once a relationship had cracks in it, then it could never be repaired.
Suspicion ultimately ruined everything.

This wasn’t a business competition with a clear winner and loser, nor was it an athletics tournament with rankings.
It was even less like a violent battle with the living and the dead.

With feelings… there was no way to obtain a 100% clear result.
Once there was a lack of trust, anything more you said or did would be meaningless.

Lu Xiuwen lowered his head, his lips lightly touching the top of Ye Ming’s head.
His eyes were filled with unprecedented sorrow and helplessness. What should I do? How can I make you believe that I love you? 

………………

Apart from not letting Ye Ming go outside, Lu Xiuwen meticulously took care of everything else no matter what it was.
Moreover, the way he did things was very careful and attentive.
Occasionally when he couldn’t stay at home to accompany Ye Ming, he would let the nanny look after him, not allowing Ye Ming to stay at home by himself in case an accident happened.

Ye Ming’s scope of movement was limited to these few floors, and everywhere there were signs of Lu Xiuwen’s presence.

This was his home, and everywhere there were his beautiful memories.
He was an orphan, but he hadn’t landed in an orphanage, nor had he tasted the bitterness of the real world.
He lived with the warm Lu family, where someone wholeheartedly treated him well, not allowing him to feel even the tiniest bit wronged.
Compared to many children with parents, he was probably still much happier. 

He used to be grateful to the heavens, grateful for everything he had.

But now everything had changed tastes.

Whenever Lu Xiuwen looked at him tenderly, he’d wonder who it was Lu Xiuwen actually wanted to see.
Whenever Lu Xiuwen patiently took care of him, he’d wonder who it was Lu Xiuwen was actually thinking about.

And whenever Lu Xiuwen got on top of him and pressed him down under his body, who exactly was it that he was thinking about then? 

One day, when Lu Xiuwen came back from a meeting, he found that Ye Ming wasn’t in the living room, while the nanny was cautiously standing on the second floor, giving Lu Xiuwen a significant look.

Lu Xiuwen immediately realized that Ye Ming was probably in the study.
He walked up and saw Ye Ming standing in front of his desk with a photo in his hand.

This was a photo Lu Xiuwen had put in his study.
The photo had the whole family in it.
A young Lu Xiuwen stood right beside Gu Xueya with a bright smile.
This was an old photo from 20 years ago that had always been placed inside his glass bookcase.

Actually, there wasn’t only this photo in the bookcase, and there were even more photos of him and Ye Ming later on.
There was a small Ye Ming, a grown-up Ye Ming, a junior high school and then high school Ye Ming… there were photos of them separately, and photos of them together.
Although there were also photos of Gu Xueya, they actually didn’t account for much. 

Normally, this wouldn’t be a big deal, but right now Lu Xiuwen was keenly aware that he shouldn’t let Ye Ming look at them.
He walked over and said softly, “What’re you looking at?”

Ye Ming looked at Gu Xueya in the photo, somewhat absent-minded.
This was his mother.
He actually didn’t remember her anymore.
After all, when she passed away, he’d still been very young.

 

Lu Xiuwen’s existence made up for the things he’d lost, replaced his parents, and even later in his life, it was all Lu Xiuwen…

Ye Ming slowly raised his head, his expression mild for once.
His gaze didn’t carry thorns, his voice wasn’t filled with ice, and instead he said smoothly, “I’m looking at my mother.” 

Deeply afraid Ye Ming would start thinking of those things again, Lu Xiuwen took away the photo in his hand, grasped his hand, and said, “Look at it some other time then.
Let’s go down first.”

Ye Ming said, “Wait.”

Lu Xiuwen’s gaze slightly sank, and he tentatively asked, “What is it?”

Ye Ming stared at Lu Xiuwen’s face, then suddenly revealed a nostalgic gaze, his lips moving slightly, “Uncle, I care about you very much, you know that, right?” 

Lu Xiuwen was silent for a while, then nodded.

Ye Ming then smiled, this expression carrying a nearly indiscernible bitterness.
“Then how much I love you, do you know?”

When Lu Xiuwen heard these words, his heart palpitated.
Even his heartbeat seemed to stall for a moment.

He never imagined that he would still be able hear the word ‘love’ come from Ye Ming’s mouth.
For him this word was already a luxury. 

“I feel like you already know.” Ye Ming lowered his eyes, his voice soft, “After all, you know all kinds of things, unlike me, who doesn’t know anything…”

Lu Xiuwen’s voice was hoarse, “I…”

Ye Ming didn’t wait for him to finish and suddenly lifted the corners of his lips to smile at him, his voice light, “But, how much I loved you before is how much I hate you now.”

In his dark eyes was a gleam of indifference, the slight opening and closing of his lips forming the same exact words they did in a previous life, appearing ruthless, callous. 

He said, “You make me feel disgusted.”

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