Surviving a Shounen Manga

Sortie! Squatjaw Adventurers

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We followed the skinny examiner to a clothing store on a quiet, out-of-the-way street.

I’d never imagined that a street might exist in this city that would fit the adjective ‘quiet’, but it did.
By the time we entered the clothing store, there was not even a trace of all those people who’d been all around us earlier.

It was amazing.
I didn’t even realize it until I arrived.

“Come in.”

However, the interior of the clothing store was as expected.

It was a very ordinary shop, so small that it filled up with just five people entering, and there was nothing special about it at all.

Very similar to the antique shop where Leo and his party were guided to in the original.

The examiner led us to the counter.

“Stand there for a moment.”

Then he went over the counter, took out a chair and sat down alone.

“… Well.”

It was uncomfortable.

Just looking at him, I was feeling strangely uncomfortable.

Suddenly, my legs felt stiff.
So much that I wanted to sit.

I whispered to Cocoa.

“Do you have a chair in your pocket?”

“Chair?

Cocoa shook her head.

“But I have a merry-go-round.
I kept a few rides from the amusement park.
Want one of those?”

“… Leave it.”

Just then,

“Then I will start.”

The examiner took out a piece of paper and began to write.

“Are there currently four of you?”

“Yes.”

“Additional people are limited to three.
No more.”

“Understood.”

“Additional people?”

Hearing Haka mutter to himself, the examiner raised his head and asked.

“Do you need an explanation?”

I nodded on behalf of the group.

I could’ve explained, but refrained in case I missed some key detail.

“It means that you can grow your group while the qualification test is in progress.
Up to seven people.”

“…”

This guy didn’t go into the details at all.

With a sigh, I asked the examiner for permission, and then briefly explained the rules of the Adventurer Qualification Test to the party.

The Adventurer Qualification Test is conducted in ‘stages’, not on an individual basis. The number of people in an adventurer group is one to seven people. If even one of the registered group gives up during a stage, the whole group is eliminated.

“Got it? It’s not an individual game.
We are all one team.
If one of us jokes around? We will all die together.”

I said it deliberately, but –

“Huhu, this might be a bit difficult, isn’t it?”

“All of us have to work in unison, huh… I really want to mess things up whenever I’m in a situation like this.”

It didn’t seem like it worked out very well.

Now that I thought about it, that’s just how goblins were.

So while I was about to threaten the goblin and the assistant goblin again –

“If the explanation is over, can we proceed?”

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The silent examiner spoke up again.

“Oh, yes.”

“What’s the name of your adventurer group?”

Ah, the name of the adventurer group.

Actually, it wasn’t that important.
We could just go with something rough right now, and think about it later when we formally form the adventurer team.

However, remembering the case of Leo and the others made me get a bit more serious.

The name, ‘Leo Adventurer Team’, was coined at this time.

“Hmm… let’s see.”

I pondered for a while.

But nothing came to mind.

All I could see was the examiner’s eyes.

Hey, let’s just put in something rough.

“Let’s just go with Hiro Adventurer Team…”

That was then –

“Squatjaw! The Squatjaw Adventurer Team!”

“… Hey.”

“Let’s call it an adventurer team.
That’s good.”

Why are you so fixated on my jaw?

I couldn’t understand Cocoa’s crazy vision.

“So you’re doing it as an adventurer team?”

“Oh, no, wait.
Hey, what kind of adventurer team is called Squatjaw…”

“Why not? Because you’re a squat-jaw.”

“No, even if that’s true…”

Then,

“Alright, so it’s the Squatjaw Adventurer Team.
Are you the captain?”

The skinny examiner wrote it down by himself, ignoring the byplay.
It looked like he was pretty annoyed.

“Haah…”

“Is the captain called Squatjaw?”

“No, not that.
Please not that –”

This skinny guy only seemed interested in finishing things quickly somehow.

At that moment, Cocoa spoke up like she was doing me a favour.

“Just tell him your name.”

“Thank you, thank you so much.
It’s Hiro.
Captain Hiro.”

“Alright, so it’s the Squatjaw Adventurer Team, Captain Hiro.”

Then, the rest of the party named themselves one after another.

“Yes, it’s all been recorded.
Squatjaw Adventurer Team, Captain Hiro and three others.
Please note that the registration period for additional adventurers will close just before the end of the qualification test, and the group size limit is seven people.”

As soon as the reception was over, the skinny dwarf pointed his finger at the cramped fitting room in one corner of the store.

“You can enter one by one.”

“Ah… is it there?”

As soon as I saw it, I immediately recognized it.

It looks like a normal fitting room, but that was the passageway to the first exam room.
Perhaps as soon as you enter and close the door, the bottom will fall open and it’ll start moving.

“If you close the door and count ten seconds, you’ll reach the test centre.
Please understand that you may feel a little dizzy while moving.
If you have a weak stomach, tell me so I can give you a plastic bag.”

This skinny bloke… He felt a little kinder now.

Next, we went into the fitting room, while he uttered a phrase that was like the signature of the Adventurers’ Association.

“I hope that the most precious treasures may one day be held in the hands of the Squatjaw Adventurers.”

The Adventurer Qualification Test is divided into seven stages, and only those who pass each stage can proceed to the next.

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Stages one to three test whether an adventurer has the basic qualities necessary, as in ‘physical fitness’, ‘knowledge’, and ‘personality’.

The full-scale test starts from the fourth stage, which tests the adventurer’s ability as a ‘guide’.

In stage five, you have to prove your ability as a ‘decipherer’, and in stage six, as an ‘adversary’.

Finally, if you pass the seventh stage, a ‘face-to-face interview with a veteran adventurer’, you will be able to acquire an official adventurer’s license.

“Did you understand?”

Cocoa nodded at my question.

“I hear you.
Then here, it is…”

“Isn’t it supposed to be a place to test your basic qualities?”

“Exactly, just your fitness and stamina.”

“But what the hell are we doing here?”

Even though I roughly explained everything, her doubtful expressions still hadn’t faded.

It was natural, because this space that didn’t seem to have much to do with ‘ fitness’.

A very large, wide and gloomy tunnel.

Where we were now was one of the great waterways buried deep under the city.

Dozens of these canals were intertwined underground beneath the city, and now a large number of candidates had been randomly placed in one of the aqueducts.

“Wait.
Somebody will come explain soon anyway.
Instead, take a look at your competitors.”

I glanced around too.

There were no particularly striking faces.

‘Well, they might all be concentrated on Leo’s side.’

Even so, there were quite a few people scattered all over the place.
About two, three hundred? At least that many,

There were some who still kept arriving one after another in the midst of it all, but the rate had reduced significantly compared to before.
It seemed that the deadline was slowly approaching.

That was then.

– Ah, hmm, how are you, candidates?

A lively voice echoed from somewhere in the tunnel.

The source of the voice was near the ceiling of the tunnel, but upon closer inspection, a small speaker was installed there.

The noise around us ceased as the voice spoke up.

Suddenly, the place was overflowing with tension.

– Greetings to all who took the Adventurer Qualification Test.
It may be a little boring for the repeaters, but there’s a brief explanation for the first-timers.
It’s about where you are now.
To do that, I think I first need tell you the history of this city, ‘Adventium’.
Adventium was…

The explanation was not brief at all, and just kept going on and on for a long time.

When I’d seen it in the manga, it was just a matter of flipping through the pages, but in real life it was to the point that I was really getting fed up.

“Squatjaw, this…”

“Try and hold on.”

“This kind of dry briefing without a single joke… is like hell for goblins.”

“Sir Chinuavi, you better cover your ears.”

“Alright, don’t overdo it, kids.”

Of course, I was also enduring, trying not to yawn.

Anyway, to summarize the explanation:

Adventium here was named after the now-fallen ‘ancient city of ADVENTIUM’, and some adventurers had founded a village here in the past to preserve that splendid ancient civilization.

The canal where the candidates had been placed was a vestige of an ancient adventure, and the reason why this place was used as a testing ground for the Adventurer Qualification Test was to remind the candidates of the spiritual tenets of true adventurers, to honour history and ancient wisdom.

– Well, you all know what I mean, right? Then, the explanation about this place is done, so let’s go straight to the main topic.

At that moment, the dead atmosphere began to come alive again.

The candidates’ eyes gleamed with fervour.

– The most basic quality an adventurer needs is fitness! You first task is simple.
Reach the heart of this waterway within the time limit! There’s no need to explain the direction, right? We can’t tell you the exact distance, but here’s one piece of advice… You might want to walk a bit fast.

It was true that there was no need to explain the direction.

The waterway was one-way.
We just had to go straight ahead.

We’d just have to walk a little bit faster than usual.

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– The time limit is one hour.
Then please start!

However, despite the departure signal, no one moved immediately.

Perhaps it was because everybody was wary of those around them.
I wondered if we might even get attacked from behind on the way.
It was still only the first stage, but even so, everyone was a competitor.

‘Everyone is being very vigilant.’

And that was the best choice.

It was called a fitness test, but it wasn’t just a running event.

The phrase “fitness test” or “first stage” was actually close to a scam.
In fact, most of the candidates fell here.

Why?

“Heh, let’s clean up who we can and widen the road a bit.”

“There are a lot of faces I haven’t seen before… The first-timers just take the test for experience, right? I hope you had a good experience, so see you again next time.”

Because people like me would appear as if they’d been waiting for this.

Big, vicious-looking guys clenched their fists and stepped forward.
There were several groups of seven.

“Hmm.”

“Isn’t it annoying?”

“Right?”

Of course, these guys who looked like me couldn’t do much in the original.
They were cleared up by Kiriko before they could even say a few words.

But what about this place, without Leo and his friends?

“If you obey without resisting, we’ll just put you to sleep.
But if you don’t…”

“Heh, we’ll leave that to your imagination.”

Looking at them, I remembered the goal I had set before entering the waterway here.

Here was my goal for the first stage.

Simple.
Start some rumours.

There was still a long way to go before all the test-takers would be gathered together, since all the personnel spread over dozens of waterways would have to go through several stages of testing.
However, rumours would still circulate in between.

‘Who said there won’t be anything serious? Some really horrible guys have appeared.
They said that only a few people passed through some of the waterways.’

What if my story got into Leo’s ears and even discussed between his party members?

For instance,

“Did you hear? By Hiro, do they mean that squat-jawed guy we know… It looks like he’s taking this qualification test too, right?”

“Dude, what the hell do you have to do to cause an ugly rumour like this…?”

“Yeah.
After all, that guy just can’t stay quiet.”

Like this.

This was of course a cliché, but it would be enough to stimulate the readers’ expectations.

Besides, the main character becoming conscious of me first? There’s no better way to climb to a rival’s position than that.

In other words,

“It’s you guys who are annoying.
Your roles overlap too much.”

It was time to get back to villainy.

I went straight towards the thugs.

Clenching my fist, I made a brutish expression.

“Heh heh, yes, let’s make the road a little wider.”

“Who are you, you bastard?”

“You wanna die?”

Instead of answering them, I turned around and said.

“Chinuavi.”

“Yeah, senior.”

“Raise the dirt and block the road here.”

“Yep.”

“Haka.”

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“Tell me.”

“All the people here right now.
You understand? Just do what you’re good at.”

“Huhu, it’s been a while.”

At that moment, a lively smile appeared on his lips after a long time.
That flash of malice was like a passive ability that slit-eyed characters were inherently equipped with.

“Cocoa.”

“Yeah.”

“Look around.”

“Huh.”

I looked back at the thugs.

Now, what was I going to do with them?

Of course, my physical abilities were strong enough to easily handle these extras aspiring to be adventurers.

So, without further ado.

I raised my fist and slammed it against the nearest head.

Boom!

Then,

Thud!

The guy collapsed.

Hmmm, that was easy.

But I didn’t mean to just deal with all of them like that.
Because there were so many of them, there were many other skills that I was itching to try out right now.

“I’m sorry, except for these idiots, everyone here today is eliminated.
Come back next time.”

“K, kkh…”

“It’s unfair…”

“Sorry.”

About thirty minutes had passed, and all the guys blocking the way had been dealt with.

Even though I mimicked Kiriko’s [Six Burning Bullets] as best as I could, I couldn’t practice as many techniques as I’d hoped.

Because Haka was on a rampage.

‘Hey, that regretful expression…’

For some reason, Haka seemed to have recovered quite a bit of his original form that I’d thought had been lost.
The word ‘devil’ was often heard from the mouths of those collapsing.

For now, it seemed enough to play the role of an ‘adversary’.

“Anyway, shall we start slowly?”

Thirty minutes remained.

It was enough.

That was then.

Tiling–.

A message arrived at the hologram.

‘What? What is it this time?’

As soon as I saw the message, I was floored.

[You have received a proposal to become the chapter’s leading point of view from the author]

If you agree, please press this.

The leading point of view.

This meant that the readers would see the situation through my eyes.

From what I could recall, even Kiriko hadn’t gotten this treatment much as of yet.

The most powerful device that allows the protagonist to function as the centre of the story and elicits empathy from the readers.

It was something only Leo could possess.

“… Hoo.”