Love Doesn’t Matter

Chapter 52 – How Could That Be

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The man’s tongue touched it without her having a chance to stop him.
He licked it gently and sucked on it with his lips.

There’s no way he would do this unless he’s crazy…
But he really bit her, and really sucked on her.
Emilia hardened like a stuffed animal, allowing him to do everything he could with his tongue and teeth.

Why is she not stopping him?

Her two unfocused eyes shook timidly along with the lamp.
She didn’t even have a chance to figure out whether it hurt or felt good.
The sensation of tingling that ran over her whole body was just so intense that it seemed to swallow her soul.

The promiscuous sounds resounded for some time, and then Hadius stopped greedily biting and sucking for a moment.
She didn’t know what made him stop so suddenly.

Emilia couldn’t move for a while.
The only thing that moved were the fingers that were barely holding her flowing clothes.

Meanwhile, the carriage entered a straight road.

Clip-clop, clip-clop, the sound of the running horses and the regular shaking made Emilia fully regain her senses.

The headache she thought had ended started again, and the air she felt on her skin was as cold as ice.
The stench of alcohol pricked the tip of her nose.
Realizing that it was coming from her, not Hadius, Emilia felt disgusted.

The first thing she did was pull up her clothes.
With trembling hands, she buttoned her dress and eagerly straightened her messy, crumpled skirt.
She also found a button, shining faintly, on the floor on the carriage.
As she bent down, she realized that her hair had been completely undone.
The moment she was frantically sweeping her hair up to tie it again,

“Here.”

Hadius handed her a hairpin.

She couldn’t make eye contact, but she felt it.
There was no regret, no guilt, and no remorse in the atmosphere that was transmitted through the pin.
Unlike her, who was trembling, Hadius Meyer acted like it was nothing.

“What happened just now… It was wrong.
Such a vulgar and blasphemous thing…”
“It’s exactly what men want from their women.
Humans and animals are the same.
There is no difference between what boars do while riding on top of a sow or what a man does with a woman.”

Emilia was in shock.
No, she wasn’t really that shocked.
The moment Hadius pulled down her clothes and kissed her somewhere other than her lips, there were things she realized instinctively.

The ‘sacred act’ that her father spoke of may not be any different from those of animals.
Even though no one had told her, Emilia was searching for answers to the secret truth between a man and a woman.

“… No.
It’s different.”

Nevertheless, she denied it.
She had no choice but to deny it.

“I’m not going to make it sound nice.
It’s also one of the things I want from you.”
“…”
“I want to give you a lot.
A lot of things that you don’t even want.
But I can’t promise anything right now.
All I can give you is a better life for you and your family.”
“I don’t need it.
I don’t need anything!”
“Yeah, you always said that.
That there was nothing you wanted from me.”

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“Then let it go.
Me and the Young Master, we both abandoned each other.
Why are you doing this now?!”
“Shall I tell you again? How selfish I am?”

Asking that, Hadius was terribly calm.
Emilia felt herself suffocating in the face of a man who had no sense of shame, anger, or any other emotion.

 

***

 

Emilia was sick.
She fell ill for two days.
She suffered from severe headaches and vomiting, but at the same time, she welcomed the pain.
If it hadn’t been for the pain, the memories from the carriage would have been unbearable.

She thought it was a part of the body that would be used for feeding a lovely baby.
She thought it was blasphemous, so she didn’t even touch it when changing clothes.
However, it was mercilessly squeezed, rubbed, and swept under the man’s hand and tongue.

What a sickening, disgusting act.

Emilia vomited all the disgusting things.
Not only her stepmother, but also Mitch and Charlotte couldn’t sleep because of their sister who vomited to death, but Emilia was so proud of herself.

The problem started when her turbulent stomach calmed down.
Strange questions began to creep in.

Really? Was it really that disgusting? Are you certain?

Emilia squeezed her empty stomach and vomited hard.
But the only thing that filled her mouth was painfully bitter water.

That’s right.
It was horrible and disgusting.
Don’t think otherwise.

As soon as she stopped vomiting, a terrible headache began.
She even thought that she was being punished by God.

As she looked back on the memories of the ball one by one, a sense of shame came rushing in.

Why did she drink again?
Why didn’t she turn down the man who asked her to dance?

She was drunk on everything.
Drunk on the alcohol, drunk on the music, and drunk on the man.
Every time she went round and round the smooth floor in Hadius’ arms, Emilia fell for him without excuse.
The shocking acts that happened in the carriage may have been foretold since then.
Once is a mistake, but not twice.
It is clearly ‘wrong’.

Unlike her self-blaming and self-tormenting consciousness, her body recovered terribly quickly.
She was able to stop Mitch, who said he would bring a doctor right away, and regained her energy enough to soothe the crying Charlotte.

“Come on, eat some of this.
The apothecary, Mr.
Schlemann, said there is no certain medicine for a hangover and taught me how to do this.”

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Kallia poured milk on a scorched spoon and handed it to her.

“There are people who are particularly weak to alcohol, like you.
People like that should never drink.”
“Yes.”

Emilia obediently took the milk.
Kallia stared quietly at her daughter and carefully opened her mouth.

“I don’t know if Young Master Meyer is alright.
That day, he didn’t look very well either…”
“… Is that so?”

Emilia shrugged as if it was something insignificant.

Emilia was not the only one who pretended not to know anything.
Kallia, too, was constantly keeping an eye on her daughter, while organizing the spoons and dishes.

 

***

 

It was a day when the sky was so overcast it looked like it was going to rain at any moment.

Hadius suddenly put down the documents and turned his gaze to the window.
The servant was cleaning the windows when he came in.

With each passing of the white cloth, the glass became more transparent and the dark clouds in the sky grew darker.

The sky, dark like the night, wrapped around his body, evoking memories from the carriage.
His stomach reacted immediately, expressing his desire.

“If it’s troubling you, shall I do it later?”

The servant who was cleaning the window asked carefully.
Hadius answered, “It’s fine.
Continue.”, and turned his eyes to the documents.
But his concentration had long since disappeared.
He stretched out his arm and wound up the music box.

Suddenly, raindrops pounded against the window.
A sad melody flowed through the rain.

Looking at the thick lines drawn on the window, Hadius quietly fell into thought.

If he hadn’t stopped, she would probably be by his side right now.

That kind of thought.

When the ice-cold face, blushing after a long time, came to his mind.
When there is something shining like a star, that is neither indifferent nor resentful.
He just wanted to rip it off and smash it.
He wanted to confirm.
Who she belongs to.

It seemed to him that it would be better to do so to get rid of Nathan Malvin, who sneaks in whenever he has a chance.

Hadius stood by the window, stepping on his turbulent feelings with his heavy steps.
When he finished, the servant who was cleaning the window disappeared.

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“Young Master,”

A knock was heard.
The door opened, revealing Grozhang with a frowning forehead, as usual.

“I have dealt with the Cavendish issue as you have told me.
The inspection bureau will launch an investigation into the Quirren wool fraud case.
Bernen Cavendish, and of course, the entire family, will be the subject of investigation.
Of course, no one will know that Meyer is behind this.”

A healthy family seemed to have collapsed overnight, but Hadius was as relaxed as if he were watching a dog passing by.

“What happened to Malvin? Did you put someone on him?”
“… Yes, I have chosen a suitable person who will not arouse any doubt, and I have sent him to Grossen.”

As he was a Count with a long history, he couldn’t just bribe his servants.

Grozhang hired a wandering cloth merchant and sent him to the Grossen area, Malvin’s estate.
The cloth merchant stayed at Melvin’s mansion, selling precious fragrances and the finest silks at very low prices, allowing him to move freely in and out of the mansion for several months.
He will follow Nathan Malvin’s movements as he sells stuff.

“News from him will come soon.”

Hadius was still standing, looking out the window with an unknown expression.
Grozhang, who was watching quietly, asked impulsively.

“But Young Master, why are you doing this again? Didn’t you say you would wait for Miss Bern’s decision, especially on the Cavendish issue?”

As always, Hadius did not answer.

Grozhang was also like that.
He swallowed a lot of advice he would have given had his master been a more open-minded person.
The words he wanted to say to a young man who is only 20 years old and inexperienced with women…

“I will take my leave now.”

The door closed and Grozhang disappeared completely from his sight.

Hadius sat motionlessly, and then stretched out his arm and restarted the music box again.

How is this, Emilia?

He has finally dealt with the Cavendish, and he is digging around to deal with anyone who stands between them.
A fair match or an honorable duel is not his style.
Because he has lived under the Meyer name and never had anything that is his in a legitimate way.

‘Then let it go.
Me and the Young Master, we both abandoned each other.
Why are you doing this now?’

That’s right, she will never know.
What crazy things he has been doing to get her.
How much he has thrown away, and how much he is going to throw away.

The hand that moved away from the music box picked up the ‘Principles of Accounting’.
Because of this, because he can’t stand this kind of thing, he is going to end up doing something low again.

His long fingers gripped the luxurious leather cover as if to crush it, and then knocked it down to the floor.

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***

 

The small commotion at Lüen’s ball spread everywhere through the mouths of people.
And it finally arrived at Grossen, the estate of the Malvin family.

It wasn’t a fatal scandal as Caitlyn Meyer had planned, but the fact that someone had tried to entangle the family’s eldest son with the Meyer’s fiancée was enough to upset the Malvin family.

No family could allow their eldest, unmarried son, to be talked about in society.
As they were a family that valued honor from generation to generation, Elowie Malvin was particularly enraged.
He sent people to Delloui, where Mrs.
Lüen lived, and to Erndorf, where Sir Cavendish lives, to find out the truth.

Shortly after confirming that the Cavendish’s servants, as well as their youngest daughter, had helped spread the strange rumors, Count Malvin sent a formal letter of protest.

And he ordered his son, Nathan, to be put in confinement.
He was held responsible for being caught up in the rumors.

Nathan acknowledged it and accepted it without saying a word.
Of course, it was only on the surface.

“Are you going to meet Bernen Cavendish in person? Are you out of your mind?”
“Yes, I am out of my mind.”

Pianne Malvin’s eyes widened at her son’s confident answer.

“They dared to spread unfounded rumors about me and my family.
I can’t just leave them alone.
I want to hold them accountable and receive an official apology.”
“But you are in confinement right now.
Your Father and I will soon meet with Sir Cavendish to raise the matter formally.”
“Father and Mother can do that.
I will take care of it myself.”
“But Nathan, if your Father knows…”

Pianne frowned and hesitated for a moment.

“I will go even if you don’t give me permission.”
“What?”
“I am an adult now.
As the eldest son, I want to fulfill my responsibilities.”

Pianne continued to fan herself as if she were displeased, but she was already halfway convinced.

Nathan had been talking about equality and human rights since childhood.
He was an admirable child.
He was also an idealist who believed that caring for the weak and unfortunate is the duty and pride of a nobleman.
To such a son, Emilia Bern would not have been the ‘Meyer’s fiancée’, but just a ‘weak person’.
We couldn’t just stand there and see her being harassed and treated unfairly.

Knowing how her son must have helped that girl, Pianne found no excuse to stop him.
No, she didn’t want to find one.
Isn’t that Cavendish or something, that vulgar thing, insulting his noble son and tarnishing his pride?

“According to Father’s words, I am also at fault for not acting properly in this matter.
Give me a chance to resolve it on my own, Mother.”

Even though Pianne felt proud on the inside, thinking that he really is a Malvin, she had a stern expression on the outside.
She also thought that they shouldn’t just press and scold a child who didn’t do anything wrong.

“Alright, I will give you permission.
But don’t make the problem bigger.
I’ll keep it a secret from your Father for now.
Do you understand?”