Life, Once Again!

“Does she mean that she’s satisfied when the director said we should go on?” Yuna asked.

She had the confidence that it would work, but now that she actually finished acting, she was very worried.
In the first shot, she stayed true to the script, but in the second shot, she mixed in her own interpretations.
Naturally, the first one contained her interpretations as well, but it was much fainter compared to the second one.

“Rather than satisfied, I think she means that she’ll watch how it goes,” Ganghwan said.

Maru nodded.
It wasn’t a ‘pass’ quite yet.

“But still, well done,” Maru consoled her.

Yuna scratched her head.
Whenever she was complimented by Maru, she felt relaxed.
She couldn’t help but think about his words more than the director’s.
Ever since she heard that he wasn’t contacting Gaeul-seonbae, a greed that should not raise its head up kept poking its head up within her.
No, no – she kept shouting inwardly several times, but when she came to, she would have written a novel in her head.
A sweet and romantic one, that is.

“It’s exaggerated, but it doesn’t look overdone.
I’m not sure if we should polish this or not,” Ganghwan said.

“Is there really a need to? Since the director said that she would keep watching us, I don’t think it’s entirely off the mark.”

“If it’s for play, I won’t be too sure, but this is a drama, isn’t it? I honestly don’t get whether this goes with the latest trends or not.
I mean, what do I know about dramas? If the director says it’s okay, then I guess it’s okay.”

Ganghwan prepared for the next cut while washing his hands.

Yuna also tapped on her cheeks and focused.
There were two things she learned from the read-through with Maru.
The first was that she had to have a clear understanding of the structure of the script and the relationship between each character.
The second was to not be afraid of expressing emotions.
‘If you can use your personality, then you should’ – she thought about what he said.

The assistant director gave the standby signal.
After becoming conscious of the new placement of the camera, Yuna started acting.
She did not restrain the emotions surging inside her and impulsively let them all out.
Yuna found a common ground between Yoon Jihae, who had found a clue for change, as well as Kim Yuna, who had feelings for Han Maru and scattered them without restraint.

“On weekends, I have to go to part-time jobs.
Do you think it’s any different on weekdays? I have to keep working even at home.
I don’t even have time to do homework.
But that’s not the case for you, is it? You have it easy, yet how can you say that poverty is not a sin in front of me? You don’t even know what it’s like.”

It felt rather curious.
Even though she was acting, it didn’t feel like she was acting.
The percentage of falseness in her lines was less than 1 percent.
She projected her emotions through the frame known as acting.
She truly felt angry and then sad.
Yuna felt her nose tingling.
She felt like she was about to cry, so she turned her head away to look at the pile of boiled eggs.
She was in a state of acting yet not acting.
She felt really complex and simultaneously, a sense of liberation.
It was thanks to remembering the script that made her turn back around while holding back her tears.

She heard a cut sound.
That became the trigger for the teardrops in the corner of her eyes to fall.

“What do I do? I’m so sorry, I didn’t plan on doing this.”

Her acting was over, but her emotions continued.
Yuna urgently wiped the corner of her eyes with some tissue.

“Yuna.”

Jayeon had approached her.

“Yes?”

“Are you going to be okay with that?”

“With what?”

“I mean the current situation.
Isn’t it hard?”

“I don’t think there’s anything like that.
Please give me a second.”

Yuna sighed while trembling before raising her head.
The emotions finally died down.

“The emotional consumption in that must have been immense.
Are you really okay?” Jayeon seemed concerned.

Yuna nodded energetically.

“I don’t feel bad at all.
In fact, I feel refreshed.”

She wasn’t lying.
When the lingering emotions disappeared, she felt refreshed as though she felt a breeze of wind after a light jog.
There was no residue left at all from the sadness.
Jayeon looked at her for a while before speaking,

“How peculiar.
Is being honest an advantage at times like this?”

“Eh?”

“Nothing.
If you’re okay, then you should keep doing that in the future.
When I first looked at you, I thought you were exaggerating, but if you can fit all of your acting on this level, you will create a solid character for yourself and it would look more natural instead.”

“Should I keep going like this then?”

“Yes, well done.”

The words ‘well done’ made her sigh in relief.
She felt proud as though she had received a good mark on a subject that she didn’t prepare that much for.
Perhaps luck was on her side.

“There is no correct answer to acting.
However, if you think that something isn’t right while acting, you should definitely say so immediately.
Emotions aren’t like visible wounds, so only you would know whether you’re hurt or not,” Ganghwan said.

“Yes!”

Yuna replied in joy.

‘Only I know it.’

This seemed like very important advice.
Yuna relaxed her shoulders and checked on her own state.
She learned from her acting school that actors needed to be able to check on their current state.
She was told that she should observe not just the physical things, but the mental things as well.
Thanks to that, Yuna was able to see whether she was in a good state or not quite clearly.
And, according to her judgment, the current state of her mind and body were above average.

If spending too much emotion was a problem, then she should have been very emotionally tired right now, but for some reason, she felt better than normal.
She felt like she had just expelled a bunch of clumped emotions, so she even wanted to maintain this current state.
Her shoulders, which felt heavy from fear and pressure, no longer felt that way either.
The gazes of the staff felt very distant as well.
While her heart was excited, it didn’t go overboard, and she was in a state where a moderate amount of tension was perfectly mixed with the joy of working.

She liked acting.
No, she liked acting together.
Yuna looked at Maru’s face for a moment before staring holes into her script.

* * *

Ganghwan leaned against the wall and looked at the two kids acting.
Maru was his senior when it came to acting in front of a camera at least, while Yuna had never even done a part-time job as a background actor.
In terms of skill and experience, the two had a lot of differences, making him suspect that the disparity would show, but right now, he was watching the two juniors with a relaxed mind.

Maru’s acting had become much more intricate than before.
If he acted like a machine doing a specific task, then he would have given the judgment that he had regressed, but his act, which maintained a standardized form but still had his nature dissolved in with it, had definitely improved compared to before.
Above all, he liked the fact that Maru’s act had become closer to that of his own age.
A long time ago, Maru’s act showed an incredible display of familiarity with a middle-aged man to the point that Ganghwan wondered if he was possessed.

This was especially the case when Maru helped out with his play two years ago.
The bus driver act he showed back then gave Ganghwan the feeling that a real bus driver was borrowing Maru’s mouth to tell his own stories.
His act was abnormally mature.
While people said that exceptional actors could show an act that transcended age, the fact that a teenage boy could display the emotions of a man who was halfway through his life without any sense of awkwardness was something that made him feel worried rather than surprised.

Right now, however, Maru had lost the weight that he had before, and he had gained the cheerfulness and passion befitting his age.
A mature act was definitely good, but as appearances were definitely an element of concern for actors, an act that suited one’s age was definitely necessary, and the current Maru had a perfect balance of appearance and age.
While there was still a sense of maturity to him, it was just enough to make the whole thing look stable.
His eyes, which looked at the very foundation of an object, combined with his not so exceptional but realistic expressivity showed a great combination, heightening the quality of his acts.
Ganghwan really looked forward to what Maru would become in one year and in ten years.

Then there was Yuna.
She became more and more interesting the more he watched her.
Ganghwan believed that there existed a total quantity to emotions.
He believed that the fact that humans couldn’t be limitlessly happy nor limitlessly sad was due to the fact that there was a limit to how much emotion a person could possess.

Actors were fundamentally emotional laborers.
They had to be sad when they weren’t sad, and they had to be happy when they weren’t happy.
They also had to be able to do so whenever and wherever they had to.
Expressing emotions at just the right time would maximize emotional consumption.
Ganghwan also spent his life lying down in stillness at home once he finished a very dynamic play.
When he recovered some stamina he would start watching dramas, movies, or reading books.
Only after checking that he would cry at the sad things and laugh at the funny things would he feel that his twisted inner emotions were healing.

If an actor brought out emotions without end, the well would dry up quickly and the actor would become an empty can, no longer able to do anything.
Ganghwan had seen numerous people who have given up on this job because they spent more emotions than they could recover.
It was a well-known fact even to ordinary civilians that actors frequently visited psychotherapists, so he thought that emotions should not be pushed out so recklessly.

Yet Yuna seemed different.
The backlash of spending her emotions seemed especially little for her.
She was someone who exuded an incredible amount of emotion to the point that she couldn’t hold them back even after the director gave a cut sign, yet with a bit of time, she would no longer look tired and would instead smile as though she was feeling refreshed.
There was no lie in her smile.
This was amazing.
It was definitely outside of what Ganghwan considered to be common sense at least.

A girl who’s endlessly honest to herself – Ganghwan thought about what Jayeon said.
Emotions that were brought out artificially by the actor would clash against the actor’s true emotions and erode away at their mentality.
However, if someone could easily synchronize their real emotions to the artificial emotions, that fatigue would be relatively low.

Ganghwan looked at Yuna.
She was huffing as though she was very angry.
As she had a cute appearance, she didn’t look that scary, but her rage was something unrefined.
It lingered for a long time because the anger was truly there.
However, once those lingering emotions disappeared, Yuna would soon return to her usual, smiling self.
It looked as though her emotional expenditure had been refilled instantly.

On one side was a boy who dug into the extreme depths into not just himself, but the characters as well, and on the other side was a girl who emphasized the character with pure, visible emotions.

What a nice pairing – Ganghwan inwardly muttered to himself as he nodded.

“I think you should press it down a little.
Everything was good, but that was just a little lacking.”

“Then I’ll try changing it just a little.”

It was probably thanks to Maru that Yuna’s emotions weren’t bursting out uncontrollably and were at the level of being just a little too much.
His quick thinking had reached a level where he could influence other people’s acting.
This would be a useless skill against those much higher than him in acting skill, but for the current Yuna, it would be akin to treasure.

“There’s also the fact that her heart is open too.”

It was obvious just how much Yuna had opened up her heart to Maru from how she accepted Maru’s words without any doubts.
There was probably more than just ‘goodwill’ in her emotions.
 Perhaps it was the synergy of all these elements and working with someone in the same space that allowed Yuna to bring out her full potential.
If there was someone else in the place of Maru, Yuna might overdo it with her emotions.

Jayeon said that she valued Maru’s analytical skills and calmness and Yuna’s honesty.
While her decision of not prioritizing acting skills was a big gamble, from the results that could be seen now… she had hit the jackpot.

“Senior, do you have anything to say?” Yuna asked while taking a break.

Ganghwan shook his head.

“No, you’re doing good.
Maru, you should try to be more like her.”

Maru, who was flipping through his script on the side, frowned and spoke,

“Why do I feel a sense of defeat when I hear that from you, hyung-nim?”

“Because I’m good, and you’re not.”

“Man, I miss Geunsoo hyung-nim.”

“You know, he and I aren’t that different when it comes to being a lunatic.”

“But at least he doesn’t boast like you do.”

Maru chuckled.
Ganghwan also agreed, saying ‘that’s true’, with a smile.

KTLChamber's Thoughts

What do you think of Ganghwan's analysis of the two? I'm surprised he got so much out of that.
But they all sound true to me.

Editor's Note:
“Ever since she heard that he wasn’t contacting Gaeul-seonbae, a greed that should not raise its head up kept poking its head up within her ” Uh oh or Yay? idek what to support anymore…..