Keyboard Immortal

ave an amazing ability?

He quickly examined the hat in his hands.
However, he was stupefied when the explanation of the item appeared in front of him.

Even though this is just a normal green hat that cannot be any more normal, if it is to your liking, put it on, and I’m sure you’ll be the hottest topic on the block!

“Fuck off!” Zu An tossed the hat away in anger.

Unlucky!

He couldn’t believe he had received this stupid thing on his first try.
Even if he was going to buy a green hat, it would be for someone else to wear!

With a despondent expression, he took out a second Tiger Talisman and began the summoning ritual.

This time, he didn’t treat it as frivolously as before.
Instead, he opened his heart to the flow completely, hoping that he could truly communicate with one of those specks of light.

A moment later, there was a response.
He sensed the heat contained within this speck of light, and even his soul seemed to jump with excitement.

Zu An couldn’t help but smile.
He’d heard that, when master alchemists and blacksmiths produced their proudest works, their souls would often resonate with these items.
He never expected that he would end up having a similar experience.

Soon afterwards, the flickering speck of light reached his hand, and the light faded.
He looked down at what he’d received.

“A book?”

Is this some type of exceptional secret manual?

But I already have three top-tier secret arts.
That’s more than enough for me to handle right now…

Of course, he wouldn’t mind getting another one of the secret manuals from these Unknowable Regions.
That would be absolutely amazing.

His heart was full of expectation.
The first character that drew his attention was ‘Shao’.

Shao what?

Shaolin’s Seventy-Two Supreme Skills?

He continued reading.
Suddenly, his eyelids twitched.
The second word was ‘Fu’ (Woman).

Zu An told himself to calm down.
Even emperors had to study the ‘Classic of the White Madam’[1].
Maybe this Shao Fu whatever was a similar technique.

However, he immediately had a bad feeling when he saw the third character—‘Bai’.

He quit stalling and read the entire title.
Sure enough, the last character was exactly what he thought it was, and his face twisted in annoyance.

Still, Zu An refused to admit defeat.
He flipped through the contents to see if this cover had just been slapped on the book, while its contents were something else entirely.

He was quickly disappointed.
The contents were exactly the same as the book he was thinking about, and he had even written out a copy for Ji Dengtu back in Brightmoon City.
He couldn’t be more familiar with the story.

His face utterly dark, he took out the third Tiger Talisman and tried his luck a third time.

When the light scattered, he saw a medicine pouch in his hands labelled ‘Sleeping Pills’.

Zu An was speechless.

Unconvinced, he gave them a try.
After spending so much time with Ji Xiaoxi, he had picked up a couple of things about medicine himself.
These were the most ordinary sleeping pills, and had no special effects at all.

He could buy this stuff by the kilogram back in Brightmoon City, and yet he’d used up a precious Tiger Talisman for them!

His three draws so far had all been trash! Didn’t the explanation state that they would all be things that resonated with his soul?

Don’t tell me I’m truly such a despicable and low-class being?

Zu An wept in anguish. I’m being wronged!

It took him a while to regain his composure after which, he continued to use his remaining Tiger Talismans.

He had made up his mind.
If all ten attempts gave him trash, he would never use this stupid Valkyrie System again.

After all, if he really wanted to mooch off of girls, then there were plenty of candidates in the real world.
Why did he have to chase after these valkyries, who might not even be real?

Perhaps the System somehow registered his complaints, because the following pulls weren’t as terrible as the first three.
He ended up with a bunch of weapons—scimitars, wolf ’s-teeth clubs, meteor hammers…

Despite this, they were still common items.
Even though some of them were sharp, they were made of the most basic materials.
They were only high-quality items when compared to ordinary weapons.

He even received something that looked like a musical instrument.
This jade ‘pipa’ looked quite precious, and it had an eye-catching appearance as well.

I’ll give this to one of my female friends later.
Wait, I don’t think any of them play the pipa…

His mind wandered as he used the tenth Tiger Talisman, and a glowing ball of light quickly approached him.
He was just wondering what kind of garbage he was going to get this time when his eyes suddenly widened.
What appeared in front of him wasn’t an object, but a woman.
An extremely beautiful woman.

He had already seen his fair share of beauties, yet the instant he saw her, it was as if something had exploded within his mind, leaving him in a daze.

Even more shocking than her appearance was the information that appeared next to her. 

Endless charm shrouds this noble woman, whose figure is adorned in extravagant jade and golden silk.
Her beauty rivals that of goddesses in the highest of heavens, yet in reality, she is the fox that caused the downfall of Yinshang.

“Da… Daji?”

1.
This is a classical Chinese text on Taoist sexual practices.