Keyboard Immortal

Ow ow ow ow!! He felt pain in every inch of his body, and the stench of burnt flesh drifted past his nose.
Wait a sec! What’s going on?

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Zu An clearly remembered that just a few seconds ago, he was engaging in an argument with a bunch of people on an internet forum.
Even though it was raining and thundering outside his room, none of that had interfered with his furious typing skills one whit.
He had been trolling the absolute shit out of all those people, insulting them to the point of speechlessness… ahem, which is to say, he was persuading them through appeals to their sense of decency.

And then, there had been a huge explosion of lighting and thunder.
A basketball-sized clump of lightning had suddenly drifted inside his window.
He remembered how it had glowed in midair, emanating that strange, hazy red light.

And then? Zu An remembered hearing an absolute miserable scream ringing out, followed by a sensation that was absolutely indescribable.
He vaguely recalled seeing the keyboard in front of him vaporize into dust, followed by his hands (which had been placed on the keyboard) vanishing as well.
More and more of him had been vaporized, until finally… everything became a blank.

Was I just hit by lightning? What the hell was that thing? Ball lightning? As a highly qualified keyboard warrior, he had naturally read up on these phenomena before.
He was a naturally quick-witted, and instead of feeling frightened he instead felt a sense of excitement and eagerness.
Holy shit! Have I gained superpowers? Maybe I’m going to turn into the Flash! Or maybe even Captain Atom?

He struggled to open his eyes, but everything in front of him was a blur.
He couldn’t tell where he was at all.
Suddenly, a stabbing pain radiated into him from his fingertips.
He hurriedly turned to look downwards… and at this time, he suddenly saw something before him.

He wasn’t sure if he was ‘seeing’ with his eyes or with his mind, but in front of his fingers was a floating keyboard.
It looked identical to the keyboard he normally used, with the only difference being that all the keys looked incredibly gray and lifeless.
He reached out with a finger to test the keys out, but none of the keys would budge at all.
It was as though all of them were completely locked in place.

“You have successfully bound the ‘Keyboard Warrior’ account.
Upon fulfilling the necessary conditions, the relevant abilities shall be unlocked.” An icy voice suddenly reverberated in Zu An’s mind, scaring the crap out of him.

What the hell? Zu An thought to himself.
Why can’t I be the Flash, Spiderman, Iron Man, or something cool like that? Although the ‘Keyboard Warrior’ title kinda fits my personality, it feels… weird.

“So what do I need to do to unlock these abilities?” Zu An hurriedly asked.

“Collect the secret manuals from this world’s Twelve Unknowable Regions and then embed them into the F1 through F12 function keys.
Each time you collect a manual, you’ll unlock a corresponding ability,” the icy voice replied.

Only then did Zu An notice that the various function keys on his keyboard were covered with some strange runes.
Apparently, these were meant to correspond to those twelve so-called secret manuals.

“Good luck, Keyboard Warrior!” After these final words, the keyboard suddenly began to fold in on itself until it transformed into a shadow that then shot into his fingertip.

Zu An hurriedly said, “Wait a second! What the hell are the ‘Twelve Unknowable Regions’, and how am I supposed to find these secret manuals?” But no matter how he shouted, the icy voice no longer responded to him.
By now, that mysterious keyboard had completely vanished as well.

Zu An wanted to cuss.
This is bullshit.
A keyboard? All the people in the stories get to start with something cool, like the Midas touch and stuff.
Why do I have to start with everything locked and work my way until it’s all unlocked? And just from the sound of it, the ‘Twelve Unknowable Regions’ sound incredibly dangerous, and I doubt they’ll just hand out secret manuals freely.
And I need to get twelve of them?! This is fucking bullshit!

The hazy area around him slowly began to vanish as well.
He could feel sunlight returning to the world, and could even vaguely make out the sounds of others speaking nearby.

“Now that was odd.
There’s not a cloud in the sky.
Where did the lightning come from? It makes no sense.”

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“This guy’s probably done so many bad things that the heavens themselves have finally gotten sick of him.”

“Hey, isn’t that the useless son-in-law of the Chu clan? He should have thanked his lucky stars that a fairy maiden like First Miss Chu would fall for him, but was he? No! I heard that last night, his wedding night, he actually snuck into his sister-in-law’s bed!”

“Holy hell! He’s planning on bagging both of them?”

“Ehehehe.
Plenty of guys like to eye their sister-in-law’s, after all.”

“No wonder he got hit by lightning! Serves him right!”

“Pity about that lovely First Miss Chu, though.
So young, but already a widow.”

“Shh! The Chu clan might hear you gossiping.
They are searching everywhere for this animal.”

Zu An was completely confused by what he was hearing.
What is this nonsense? And what the hell is going on in the world? Everyone’s just watching, but no one’s even called for an ambulance.
When I get better, I’m going to expose all of them and their shameless actions on social media!

“Out of the way! The coroner’s arrived,” someone shouted out.

Coroner?! Zu An was stunned.
Shouldn’t they call a doctor? Are they shooting a historical drama here?

Moments later, he felt someone crouch down by his side, then begin poking and prodding at him.
A voice then said, “The corpse’s head is sallow, while his body is charred black.
His hands are balled loosely, while his mouth is wide and his eyes are open.
His body is covered with red and purple streaks, but his flesh seems unharmed.
He has indeed died as a result of a lightning strike.”

Zu An was both nervous and angry upon hearing this.
Dying was one thing, but dying in such an ugly fashion was simply unforgivable.
He somehow mustered up the strength sit up and bellow, “HEY! Can you put some makeup on me first before you all start taking pictures?”

“ZOMBIE!!!” All the people surrounding him suddenly screamed in unison.

Zu An was stunned.
Everyone around him was indeed dressed in ancient period costumes, and the quality seemed quite low.
It was unlike the beautiful, gaudy costumes he saw on TV.
Even more nerve-wracking was the fact that he didn’t see any cameras or cameramen nearby.
In fact, he couldn’t see so much as a cell phone anywhere! Nor did he see any telephone lines, cars, or any other traces of the world he lived in.

So I didn’t die? Have I transmigrated into another world? He was a huge fan of webnovels and had read about quite a lot of situations like this, so he actually wasn’t too shocked.

“W-w-what the hell type of freak are you?!” The corner was so shocked that he had fallen flat onto his back.
Lips quavering, he pointed at Zu An as he spoke.

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“I’m not a freak, jackass.
Can’t you even tell the difference between a person and a corpse? I think you need to find a new day job.” Cough, cough.
Smoke continually emitted from his mouth and nostrils as he spoke, and it began to cause him to choke on his words.
Most likely, this was an after-effect of being hit by lightning.

Only then did Zu An notice that his own clothes were different from his normal apparel as well, and even his arms and legs were considerably slimmer than his own.
Suddenly, a terrifying thought entered his mind.
He hurriedly pulled open his pants and glanced downwards… then immediately let out a heart-wrenching shriek of agony.

“Aww, FUUUUUCK!”

Where there originally should’ve been a ‘giant roc’, he now saw a ‘tiny chick’.
No man could withstand the mental shock of it all.

Suddenly, the entire area fell silent.
The surrounding people hurriedly stepped aside, parting to reveal an opening as they looked off into the distance.
Some people nervously lowered their heads, but secretly snuck glances at the new arrivals.

Zu An unconsciously turned to look as well.
Finally, he understood why everyone had reacted this way.

A woman dressed in white was slowly walking towards him.

Her eyes were clear, and her skin was snowy-white.
Her eyebrows were so beautiful as to look painted-on, and a clear breeze seemed to accompany her