If I Can’t Be Your Wife

Why did he believe she would be alone?

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Alexis felt a chill in his veins.

 

He didn’t even realize that he had subconsciously believed that Kathleen’s behavior that he had seen in the Carmine Mountains was real.

 

‘I need to be sure.’

 

He did not intend to hastily make a move just by guesswork.
However, if it was backed up by convincing evidence, then the story would be different.

 

“I think Joseph is someone I know.”

 

Alexis calmly spoke his words.

 

“Is his hair light green? The same color as his eyes?”

“Ah.
Yes, that’s right!”

 

The simple-looking man was pleasantly surprised when an outsider pretended to know him.

 

Alexis’ mood, on the other hand, became even worse.

 

“I’ve been looking for him for a long time, I didn’t know he lived here.”

“He wasn’t originally from this village, but he came to find his wife and settled down.
I’m just grateful that a skilled healer stayed in our village.
The couple is good and kind-hearted, so it’s good for us too.”

“Couple.”

 

The tip of his lips subtly contorted as he repeated the word that was used to describe Joseph and Kathleen without hesitation.

 

“Is his wife’s name Kelly? With scarlet hair and pale blue eyes.”

“You know her! You must be a very old acquaintance.”

“….
It has been a while.”

 

After searching the Temple of Delafos, he regularly sent men to observe him.
But he was zealous in performing his duties as a priest.
He spent a long time visiting the slums, rummaging through the tents of where war orphans stayed.

He had not questioned his deeds for more than two years, so he finally left him alone a few months ago when he heard that he had left the temple to seek out the poor through wandering training.

He didn’t know that he was plotting something in such a remote location.

 

“I was worried when I hadn’t heard any news about him, but I didn’t know he was here.
I want to see him right now.
Do you know where he went?”

“Well.
Since he came here to settle down, I don’t think he will be gone for a while.
He has a child, so please wait and he will come soon.”

“A child?”

 

Alexis doubted his ears for a moment.
However, the man smiled and kindly pointed it out again.

 

“Didn’t you know? Right, the news has been cut off.
A healthy boy was born to them.
You don’t know how cute he is, like a perfect half of his parents.”

 

Laughter came out.

 

“When was he born? The child.”

“Has it been five months?”

 

A fire ignited at the side of his chest as the man confidently said the words.

 

The woman carrying the Walten name gave birth to a child.
Not his child, but another man’s child.

Furthermore….

 

-Because I can’t have children.

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Even though he thought she might be a spy sent by the Empress, he willingly took her hand because he was reminded of someone when he saw her clear eyes that didn’t commit a single lie.

The blue-eyed woman who reached out to him when he was a six-year-old boy.
He was a whole other person before he drank the scorpion’s venom.

 

So, while trembling like a weak animal, she confessed as if she had made up her mind.
trusted her for a moment

 

– I love you.

 

Kathleen’s silver hair and light blue eyes were always pale and which gave her a faint impression.
But that night, when she confessed to him, she approached him with a more intense color than anyone else he had ever seen.
So Alexis broke his principle, releasing the desire he had been keeping and momentarily embraced her.

 

He wouldn’t have made that mistake if he had known that she would deceive him like this.
It was a clear mistake.

 

“Uh, are you just going to leave?”

 

Alexis hurried out of the bakery and headed for the village entrance.

The man from behind him raised his voice, bewildered, but he ignored it.

 

Alexis found his horse and touched him with a rather rough hand.
Fortunately, the villagers looked after it and he was fine.

 

He got on the horse at once and spurred it.
He urgently needed to return.

 

‘A day.
Or two days.’

 

It was different now from when there was no trace of her three years ago.
He had caught an important lead.

 

It was such an easy task for Alexis, who jumped from a child soldier to a commander in the battle against foreigners in just three years.

 

‘How stupid.’

 

Since then, no one has reached out to him.
He shouldn’t have believed there would be another one.

 

Alexis took the reins tighter and ran his horse.
The reddish sun disappeared over the ridge.

 

***

 

It was midnight when he arrived at the Duke’s mansion.
However, the mansion awaiting the Master’s return was a nightmare.

 

“Duke!”

 

As soon as Alexis got off his horse, Viscount Rylent ran to him, his face pale white.

 

“Where have you been all this time?”

“The Viscount already knows where I was.”

“Are you saying you’ve been in that town all this time?”

 

As they entered the main building, a look of relief appeared on the faces of the gathered servants.
Alsdorf, who sent them back, had an older face these days.

 

Viscount Rylent said.

 

“You were gone for a while without contact, so I was thinking about what to do.
If Your Grace had not returned by dawn, we were going to send the Imperial Knights, but I’m glad you’re here now.
Go up and rest.
I will tell the Imperial Knights to disperse.”

“Leave it.”

 

Viscount Rylent, who had been staring at Alexis’ back as he climbed the stairs without understanding, hurriedly followed him.

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“What do you mean… The 2nd Regiment of the Imperial Knights are waiting right now.
Your Grace is back, so we don’t need them anymore, don’t we?”

“I will send them to the village.”

“A combatant in a private village?”

 

Viscount Rylent’s face grew serious.

 

“Is it because of foreigners?”

 

Alexis went into his office without answering and tossed the cumbersome cloak he was wearing.
It had been left on the saddle for several days, and it was dirty with a lot of scarlet mud.

 

Ironically, what caught his attention at that moment was the color of the soil.

 

“That’s not it.”

 

Alexis gripped the dried mud at the end of the cloak.
The scarlet-colored dirt crumbling in his hands felt somewhat satisfying.

 

“She was in that town.
That woman.”

“What woman?”

“Kathleen Walten.”

“Pardon?!”

 

It looked as if Viscount Rylent got hit on the head with a hammer.

Alexis quickly summed it up.

 

“Send the 2nd Regiment immediately to search the village as well as the surrounding hills and fields.
They would not have gotten that far yet.
Maybe they’re back in town.”

“Didn’t you meet Madame? No, did she run away again after seeing Your Grace? Then, she won’t be around anymore, so wouldn’t it be better to search the surrounding villages?”

“No, she will definitely be around there.”

 

Alexis cut him off.

 

“She couldn’t have gone far with a child.”

“A child?”

“The Delafos disciple is also there.”

 

He didn’t say who it was, but the explanation was sufficient.

 

“I heed your order.”

 

Viscount Rylent hurriedly left the office, and not long afterward, Alsdorf came in.

 

“My lord, I have prepared hot water.
Please go to the bathroom.”

 

The old butler, who had been by his side for a long time, was adept at discerning his emotions at once even with just one glance of Alexis’ face.
Alexis did not refuse and headed to the bathroom.

 

Just as he was washing away the persistent scarlet mud that had stuck to him.

 

Alexis suddenly realized something and asked Alsdorf, who was standing there ready to attend to him.

 

“Since when did we start using lilac-scented soap?”

“We replaced them with a new one every five days.
It probably changed yesterday.”

“I think it was lavender before that.”

“Ah… yes.
It seems like it was.”

 

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The maintenance of the bathroom was the responsibility of the maids.
Alsdorf had an embarrassed face.

 

Alexis took off his clothes without saying any more.

 

He didn’t care too much about the scent of the soap, but to be honest, he didn’t like lilac or lavender.
This was because the Empress enjoyed using the same scents, which had been ingrained to his memory since he was a child.

 

‘I don’t think I’ve ever used this kind of scent in my bedroom or bathroom before.’

 

When was it?

It was strange that he was concerned about such trivial and useless things.
It felt unpleasant.

 

He washed himself, forcing himself to ignore the thoughts.
But like an indelible stain, the scent of lilac remained on his skin.

 

Maybe that was why, even after putting on a robe and leaving the bathroom, the question that touched his nerves continued.

 

“Would you like me to bring you a book and a list of people in charge of managing the consumables, sir?”

 

Asked Alsdorf, who noticed that his master’s thoughts were elsewhere.

 

“Do that.”

 

Alexis didn’t like the unanswered question to last.
He didn’t want to leave his doubts alone making him feel unpleasant, it was clear that the sooner the confirmation, the better.

 

Shortly thereafter, Alsdorf brought the maidservant along with several books.

 

“This is a ledger that organizes expenses related to consumables and deliveries.
Everything from food to small consumables, clothes, and servant employment is organized by each person.
Please take a look and ask questions.”

 

Among the many ledgers he brought out, he saw one that was relatively new, unlike most of the thick and worn books.
Alexis unfolded it first.

 

The funds submitted in the name of donations were written in full.
Considering the prestige of Walten, it wasn’t a huge amount, but since most of the recipients were small organizations, they must have been very pleased.

 

“What are these?”

 

No matter how much he remembered, he wasn’t the one who came up with it.

 

Alsdorf said hesitantly.

 

“All these are the details that the Mdame has arranged.”

“Kathleen?”

“Yes, right after you got married, she took a portion of the money you gave her and donated it consistently.”

 

At first, it was sent to the remote countryside.
It was used to repair the crumbling house of a poor local manor farmer.
It was right after the earthquake.

 

He remembered that he cut taxes and sent food, but he didn’t care about where they lived.

 

Alexis continued to turn the pages.

 

She also helped the war-affected people in the South, where local wars were taking place, and children who became orphans due to an earthquake who flocked to the capital.

 

And just before she disappeared, she had sent a small sum of money to the Temple of Delafos.

 

After looking at the last page for a long time with an expressionless face, he closed the donation book and opened another one.
It was consumables.

 

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From 4 years ago, to 3 years ago.

For a little over a year, Alexis’ clothes and luxuries were being purchased at regular intervals.

Although the items in the bedroom and bathroom were of a certain type, they were purchased accordingly.

 

He asked the maid.

 

“Who ordered these?”

 

The handmaiden sported a face as if he was asking for something obvious, but she skillfully hid it right away.
She said in a cautious voice.

 

“The Madame did.”

 

Something hot hit the tip of Alexis’ chest.
But he didn’t show it outwardly.

 

“Tell me more.”

“Yes Master.
Madame made a decision after reviewing all of them.
The Master’s clothes were made by hand at the dressing room for each season, and a perfumer was called in to manage the bedroom.
She also told me to purchase the finest bathroom soaps from Nestroden.”

“And what about the scent?”

“When it comes to fragrance… Oh, she once told me not to buy lilac and lavender.”

 

The handmaiden mentioned that she stressed to her that the lilac and lavender scents are of the highest quality, but she was adamant everytime.
The handmaiden said that she found it strange.

 

“Dismissed.”

 

Alexis gave a brief order.
Alsdorf immediately took the handmaiden and disappeared.
As soon as the door closed, he grabbed his seat.
The robe didn’t even reach his neck, but strangely, his chest felt tight.

 

It was late at night and eventually dawn came, but Alexis could not sleep.
The story he thought ended over three years ago went back to the beginning.

 

She knew.
The fact that he hated lilac and lavender.

 

He didn’t know how she knew, but he was certain.
Otherwise, if his nanny Duroc was alive, she would have insisted on not using a different scent even if her eyes bled.

 

Besides, he thought that she usually only quietly stayed inside the Duke’s residence and only went to and from the Imperial Palace, but that was not it.
She saw through the things that he had missed and secretly helped on her own.

 

“Haa…….”

 

Unfortunately, all of his guesses were wrong.
All the days he spent thinking that Kathleen Walten would hit him in the head were in vain.

 

She had been loyal to him from the beginning.

 

‘Was it the fulfillment of the contract or not?’

 

The dawn light had gone and the morning sun had just risen.

 

‘….It’s not loyalty.’

 

Alexis just then remembered and realized Kathleen’s pleas asking him to treat her like how a normal couple would.

That the love his wife spoke of was real.

 

“Duke!”

 

Viscount Rylent’s cry was heard outside along with the noise of chaos.

 

“Your Grace, we’ve found Madame!”