I’m imprisoned, but I’m free in Illusion

‎Fear is scary. If you are imprisoned in the fat of a bad man or a magician who manipulates your feelings, this is fear, but fear is a beautiful thing. After all, it refreshes the heart because it is fertile from the branches of feelings but why I use fear as feeling and fear of feelings is complicated, I use my testicles as the tree I am afraid of …‎

‎One day, I forgot who I was, I hated everyone, my feelings mingled like seasons of the year, winter became my grief over, autumn regretted what I was, summer resented my stupidity, and spring was a false hope that made me hold on to a miserable life.‎

‎My miserable condition continues to travel me to grief to get me, to become one of his victims.‎

‎Every day, I cried and I had no tears, I saw my wounds, I screamed and nothing happened, I didn feel comfortable …‎

‎I came back to my ignorance again, I came back to talk for no reason, I came back foolishly, I went back to my stupidity again, I came back for a reason that made me suffer, that folly that they call act spontaneously but I don want to be a fool again, I saw those looks in someones eyes again scare me…‎

‎Oh, my eyes were red from crying, they were full of moonlight, the sun shone, my eyes were full of despair, my mouth was deaf and my breath was rising horribly, I don know why I don want to know that Im afraid of everything thats hovering around me, my God …‎

‎I heard this voice, it is scary after all, he told me do not be afraid that God with you will support you, do not be afraid if God is with you, do not be afraid of anything on the face of the universe. Don be afraid.‎

‎In a moment that is barely like what happened to me, again, this sound does not come from anywhere but from inside me, without being surprised, David, once people are injured over time, God will make them remember, David, this is the stage that will pass as it can pass.‎

‎Oh, my God, things that are impossible to believe, how can they allow themselves to reach a stage where they have not only performed themselves, but want destruction, and their ignorant actions, how can these people represent their religion as it was, they have become a danger even to themselves looking… Look at them, look at them.‎

I think to myself and repeat the word people, People… I realized < that man can be a medicine and a doctor for himself, and some have that disease for himself>, I could not sleep as usual and took the pain, on the one hand, my pain reached a stage I could not treat I am weak and I am exposed by force, I am afraid and I do not allow myself to do so, I learned from fear and I will not allow him to bury me in his grave.

Love, my God, love, but I don know what it is, I was not treated with love no one looked at me with love no one smiled at me with love, no one derived me with love and when he Miss me hugging me with love I want love loves me but this is impossible …

I love myself, I love myself, I love myself, I flirt with myself in front of the mirrors, Im in real love with myself, if I don love myself, no one will love me, I miss myself when I don see it in the mirrors, I feel tender when my hands hold my cheek and caress, I say poetry to myself, I love myself.

love He still doesn hear me. call him and he did not hear me, I heard him, dear reader tell me when he answered you what he told you that I do not know how his voice is and not even his smile I want him who caresses my cheek and KISS me in my cheek a magical kiss forgets me who I am, I want to sleep in his arms and he condemns me in his hands and rubbed my shoulder tenderly and I immerse my face in his body, I want to let my nose near his nose and eyes in his eyes, kiss me gently, feel his lips soft, and I want to sleep in his lap, and I want to caress my hair, then hold my hands, addict me to it, and contain me in love.

Why do I imagine what can be achieved? And I went to the stage of delusional love loves me what if someone falls in love with me! Will he love me the way I will?

MY HEART: No… No… You trust someone, they
e all traitors, they
e all untrustworthy. You want to be conquered again! Remember those nights of crying from screaming that no one else hears, don tell me you want to hear the same poisoned words again, Im not going to let you do this, I don want to suffer, I… Me… He wants hell for me and him, God wants to love someone who will make him like a corpse again, the oppression that I live as his heart is scary and he will not live a heart as I lived…

ME: Listen, my heart, what if all this doesn happen, what if no one fools me, its all going to be okay, Im going to laugh the first real innocent laugh of my life, Im going to feel life for the first time, Im going to love the right way in love, Im going to get out of my dark box for the first time, Im going to leave the darkness, Im going to be free, Im not going to be free and imprisoned at the same time, Im going to be normal like the first three years of this life, Ill be David.

MY HEART: Who are you bluffing, or you or I am telling me?…