I’m Not Going to Be Bullied By a Girl

I stood outside the door and listened in to the conversation between my dad and Auntie Ren. Not long after, I could feel someone walking quickly towards the door.

I quickly retreated and pretended like I had just arrived. As expected, the door opened and Auntie Ren walked out angrily with my dad following from behind.

“Hong Li, dont panic. You might not have lost it in the hotel…”

Auntie Ren was furious: “Who allowed you to call me by my name? Do you want to die?”

Although I was wearing sunglasses, my dad still recognized me instantly.

He pointed towards my direction, “Not in front of the child…”

He was extremely quiet so Auntie Ren could only hear the wordchild.

“What?” Auntie Rens expression changed, “It wasnt enough that you got it easy but now you want a kid? I already took a lot of the Plan B the next day so theres no way I would have your kid.”

As I got closer, Auntie Ren realized she let her tongue slip. She stared at my dad and me before walking down the hallway. Im assuming she went to look for the manager to ask about the necklace.

My dad and I looked at each other with a bitter smile as I walked in.

“Dad, did you really not hide Auntie Rens necklace?”

“Of course.” he spread open his hands, “Its not like Im the cowherd from the cowherd and the weaving girl.”

“That might not be the case.” I mumbled, “The cowherd was a lumpenproletariat, and youre an AV reviewer…”

Well, jokes aside, Im here to do business.

I offered the beef jerky and tea leaves to my dad with a smile. My dad was suspicious before I even brought out the essay:

“You did something bad, didnt you?”

“No, no.” I said while passing him my essay, “I may have told a few lies but I hope you wont mind.”

My dad glanced through it and said:

“I do indeed have some classmates who took part in Shenzhou 10s design, but it has nothing to do with me!”

“Also, you said America sent a female spy to seduce me, so where is she?”

Wait, thats the line youre unsatisfied with? Then you can temporarily consider Auntie Ren as a spy.

“You even said I have a general rank, and threatened your teacher you would do the same thing as Li Tian if you dont get a good grade…”

“Li Tian had a lawyer, but I cant afford one for you. And Ill be the first one to break your legs.”

“Even though I could kind of be considered a general…”

Wait… what did you say? When were you able to become a general without me noticing and why didnt you tell me sooner? If youre a general, then you must have the authority to get an armored vehicle. Lately, my harem doesnt look like its going well, so hurry up and lend me one so I can hide from the class leader and Xiao Qin.

I grabbed my dads collar and asked for one, but he changed his words:

“Of course, the president didnt speak with me directly, it seems his Mandarin isnt that great. It was actually a representative called General Cui who told me, but his Mandarin is pretty strange too…”

“Besides, Director Cao was also given a rank of general by the president. Im assuming its some sort of inside rank for the club.”

Whats the point of calling yourself a general if you dont have an armored vehicle?

I felt regret that he couldnt move an army, but he still easily signed my essay while complaining:

“Next time dont lie, also this jerky is a bit too hard…”

No problem. The next time I lie, Ill bribe you with softer jerky.

I slept at my dads room that night since he had two beds anyway.

We chatted late into the night. Other than making fun of my sunglasses, my dad asked about Auntie Rens interests.

Is he really planning on chasing Auntie Ren? Is he determined to make Xiao Qin my sister?

“Dad, did… you let go?”

I didnt have to state it explicitly, but I was obviously referring to how my dad still didnt let go of the relationship with Ai ShuQiao.

The hesitation in my dads eyes made my heart sank, but he still said energetically:

“Maybe… its time to let go…”

Nope, it seems he still hasnt let go. Ai ShuQiaos poison still hasnt fully left his body. Back when I was watching animals on the Discovery channel, I thought platypi were the only mammals with poison, but I was hugely mistaken. It turns out all women on earth has poison, and the prettier they are the deadlier the poison.

But compared to Ai ShuQiao, Auntie Rens poison is more gentle. I guess you have to fight fire with fire. Compared to letting my dad falling into a deeper abyss of sadness, its better to help him get Auntie Ren.

What a difficult task. Even if it succeeds, I cant tell if it will be a blessing or a curse.

But Im really looking forward to the expression on Xiao Qins face when she becomes my stepsister.

Ive already been with Xiao Qin for so long that I would be a bit worried if shes not near me, so might as well make her my sister.

I had a wonderful dream that night. In the dream, I was on a picnic with Xiao Qin after she became my sister and we bumped into the class leader.

The class leader called me over under a tree and told me she had something to tell me with a worried expression.

Whats there to be worried about? If you like me just say it outright. Since youre advocate of being frugal, we can just skip the wedding and head straight to bed…

The class leaders words shattered my dreams: “Actually… Im also your little sister…”

Damn, it woke me right up. A beautiful dream turned into a nightmare.

Also, the class leaders older than me by one day. Even if it was a contrived situation where she became my sister, she would technically be my older sister.

The next day I did a bit of homework because of what the class leader told me on Friday.

Ill do my homework properly, but please dont be blood related, thats my only request.

I suddenly realized that the class leaders poison had unknowingly seeped into my body.

Will the Justice Devil also use poison like other woman? It doesnt really match her nickname.

I shook those thoughts out of my head. I parted ways with my dad after lunch since he still has work to do.

He already wasted a lot of time with the quarantine and the stuff that happened with Auntie Ren. Its a good thing Uncle He is reasonable and didnt pressure him with a deadline.

Dont betray Uncle Hes hopes for you. Use the time you would spend reviewing AVs to do your work properly. I mean its useless to befriend your clubs president to receive an empty title.

I gave Xiao Qin a call since I was bored on my way home.

“Ye Lin classmate?”

I could hear the sound of water form the other side.

“Im currently washing my hair, so I cant open my eyes…”

Dont pick up the phone if youre washing your hair. And you also picked up so fast, do you even carry your phone with you into the washroom?

“If youre washing your hair, then I can call back later…”

“No… its okay. The washroom is filled with steam, so its not cold. What did you want to talk about?”

Why would she say shes cold in this weather? Is she…. taking a bath? Did she pick up the phone in the nude?

“Ye Lin classmate, I can take pictures with my phone~”

“I know. It can only take pictures other than looking good, it cant even go on the web. Why did you bring it up?”

“(*^__^*) Hehe… if you want, I can take a picture of myself right now and text it to you~?”

Who wants to see you covered in bubbles with your eyes closed? If your eyes arent open, then the picture probably wouldnt be clear. And if you cant see properly you might not even send the picture to the right person. God forbid, what would happen if you accidentally sent the photo to the class leader or Auntie Ren?

After declining Xiao Qin, I asked:

“Xiao Qin, do you know what Auntie Ren usually likes?”

“Huh?” Xiao Qin was baffled but then couldnt hold back her laughter.

“Ye Lin classmate… are you trying to curry favor with your mother-in-law? I never expected you would be so traditional…”

“… you dont have to worry about it. Even if my mom disagrees, I would still force her to let me get married to you.”

Stop dreaming, Im trying to curry favor with my stepmother, not my mother-in-law.

I wasnt able to get information on what Auntie Ren likes, but she did tell me: Auntie Ren hates being controlled, hates despicable behavior, and hates unfaithful men…

My dad isnt the type who would lock their wife at home after getting married. I think one his special trait is to become a henpecked male regardless of who he marries.

Despicable behavior doesnt apply since he can even sell adult goods honestly and righteously.

As for unfaithfulness, he would never be unfaithful. When I was 7 or 8, there would always be a young woman with glasses and braids (I found out later she was my dads student) who would always come to my house to ask my dad life questions. She would even give me candy to raise my affection level. Now that I think about it, she probably wanted to be in a teacher-student relationship with my dad. My dad was worried about wasting her time, so he purposefully acted rude towards her. He was finally able to send her crying and she never come back again.

But my womanizer plan would incite Auntie Rens rage. It seems I still need an armored car to protect against the class leaders gun, Xiao Qins machete, and finally Auntie Rens flying kick.

A clear crisp sound of a slap on water brought me back to my senses.

“Hehe, Ye Lin classmate, can you guess where I slapped to make that sound?”

Stop making me listen to weird slapping sounds, just tell me what Auntie Ren likes.

“If you have to know what my mom likes, then that would be me…”

“What?”

“Mothers like their daughters best. So as long as you treat me well, my mom will like you…”

Im not doing this to chase after you, its so my dad can chase your mom! Or are you telling me my dad should take you to an amusement park to get on your moms good side?

In the end, I wasnt able to find what Auntie Ren likes (other than Xiao Qin). But it seemed Auntie Ren was anxious over losing the necklace passed down from her mother.

At this time, the taxi had reached my neighborhood. I told Xiao Qin to finish her shower and hung up.

“Ah, how did you know I was taking a shower?” Xiao Qin feigned surprise, “Now you know I was chatting with you while naked… how embarrassing.”

My ass! You were the one who said you were going to take a picture and even slapped weird places to purposely make me hear it. Wait until I become your brother, then Ill teach you a lesson.

At night while I was managing the store, Uncle Fireball complained about why the kiss balloons have not yet come out. Right when I was answering a female customers questions about energy consumption of vibrators, my phone rang.