I and My Husband Sleep in a Coffin

out of here! How about that?”

The man’s mind was blown away.
He glanced at Wang Xiao Mie’s standard squatting posture and the obviously abnormal clothes and skin color, then asked with some difficulty: “Zombie….still needs to use the toilet?”

Wang Xiao Mie: “…..why not.
Don’t you discriminate against zombies!”

The man was speechless for a long time reconditioning his mentality.
He wiped his dirtied face with his hand, making it even blacker.

At last, he opened his backpack and pulled out a brand new bag of tissue and passed it to Wang Xiao Mie.

“Thank you!” This dude is not bad, he actually believed me.
Wang Xiao Mie took the tissue with immense gratitude.

The grave robber who saw a dumpling opening the packaging with proficiency and preparing to use it: “…..”

If his face was big enough, the words “Who am I? Where am I? Why does a zombie know how to use toilet paper?” would be written all over it.

Wang Xiao Mie was finally about to clean himself when he felt awkward from the unblinking gaze.
“Buddy, with you staring at me like that, I’m a little embarrassed.
Can you turn around?”

“Oh ok!” the man turned quickly, also with a little embarrassment. 

Wang Xiao Mie was relieved.
When it was finally done, he stood up with the hoof and walked out of the doorless latrine towards the man.

One good thing about being turned into a zombie: no leg cramps even after squatting for so long.

After some deep thinking, the man suddenly patted Wang Xiao Mie’s shoulder and laughed: “I finally got it! You were hired by my brother to scare me in the tomb, isn’t that right?! This is to prevent me from exploring the tomb with them, right?! Hahaha, I’m so clever!”

How can a zombie speak so fluently? How can a zombie have a bowel movement? How can a zombie not attack a live person?

Therefore this guy must be my brother’s lackey hired to scare me off.

“Haha, you’re someone from my brother’s shop, aren’t you? It must’ve been hard on you, having to squat here all this time.
Give me back the donkey’s hoof, I have to find the fish pearl.”

Wang Xiao Mie laughed with his white teeth showing, wondering what the man had supplemented his brains with.
But now that he thought Wang Xiao Mie was human, things should be less complicated.
He gave the man back his donkey’s hoof.

After he passed over the item, Wang Xiao Mie noticed that his hand was smudged with black paint!

“What the! Your black donkey’s hoof was dyed? And I was wondering why your face would get blacker the more you wiped it.” Wang Xiao Mie had black lines over his head: “Buddy, no matter how poor we are, we shouldn’t dye a donkey’s hoof black to deceive others.”

Tut tut, who are you trying to fool? Do you think that zombies are stupid? 

The man was stumped for a while before scratching his head and smiled: “I, I’m also not sure about this.
We’re out of stock at home so I ordered it from Bing Xi Xi…” (TN: the actual name is Pin Duo Duo, it’s something like Amazon.)

Wang Xiao Mie: “…..” Hehe, you’re quite amusing.

Wang Xiao Mie discerned that this guy was still young and with one look, he could tell that he was a gullible one. 

“By the way, are you my brother’s new employee? How come I’ve never met you?” He asked casually.

“I don’t work for your brother.
I’m Wang Xiao Mie, and I don’t know your brother either.”

“Oh, I’m Zhen Bei.
if you’re not sent by my brother then who are you? Could it be…..” he became alert and said: “Could it be that you’re also a graverobber?!”

No, I’m the unfortunate homeowner who’s being robbed….