I Want to Hear Your Voice

“I, I really wanted to see you again no matter what.
I wanted to hear your voice.
Until you came, no one would look at me.
You were the first person who would talk to me.
I always wanted to thank you for everything.”

–This is the last time…

Sadness pierced his heart, but more than that, a deep and indescribable feeling of love filled Satori.

I’m happy I was able to meet you, Sousuke.

Satori smiled.
He thought that all of this was more than enough for him.

I was able to see Sousuke, whom I wanted to see so much.
After I could see him again, I could tell him all the things I had been wanting to say.
But then why does my heart ache? What else could I wish for?

“Sato…”

(Ah, no, not Sato.
He’s Satori…)

Sousuke slightly narrowed his eyes as if there was something bright, and reached out his hand toward Satori unconsciously. 

Satori felt puzzled as he felt Sousuke’s desire to touch him.
He never thought that Sousuke would accept him once he knew who he was.
After all, he had thought that even wishing for it was something undeserved for him.

(Yeah, Satori was the young man from that time for sure.
It’s Satori…)

At that moment, what crossed their mind was the image of Sousuke, who was still an elementary schooler, and Satori, whose appearance had not changed much.
The nostalgic scenery of his hometown was reflected in Satori’s eyes.

(In the past, I always felt as if I had left my heart behind when I had to part with him after playing together.
His smiling face always looked somewhat lonely, which made me feel like I couldn’t leave him alone.
I thought that I wanted to stay by his side.
When I couldn’t go to my grandma’s house anymore, I always felt like I had left something behind somewhere in my heart.
Though, I didn’t know why I felt that way at that time…)

A feeling of joy filled Sousuke’s heart as he was able to see Satori again.
At that moment, Satori felt like he could see himself reflected in Sousuke’s eyes.

Satori looked at Sousuke with a slightly worried and confused expression on his face.
The figure of himself reflected in Sousuke’s eyes was filled with his loving feelings and desire to touch him.
It made Satori feel like it wasn’t himself.

Suddenly, Sousuke’s face contorted as if he was in pain.

“My bad, just give me a second.”

(What was I about to do just now…?)

Sousuke took his hand back hesitantly and Satori followed it with his eyes, feeling nervous.

A shocked expression appeared on Sousuke’s face.
At that moment, Satori wondered what was the emotion that had just crossed Sousuke’s eyes.
Was it surprise? Pain? Deep regret? And then…?

A wave of mixed and complicated emotions washed over Sousuke and knocked him down.

(Since then he had always been waiting for me.
He waited at that place all alone for years… For me who had broken our promise…)

What was there was Sousuke’s feeling of regret, blaming himself for having broken their promise.
A deep pain struck Sousuke.

Satori shook his head.

No, I didn’t mean to blame Sousuke.
I didn’t want to do that at all.

“Sousuke, that’s not it.
Actually I-I…”

However, Satori who wasn’t used to expressing his feelings couldn’t find the right words to convey them.
Satori desperately clung onto Sousuke, then Sousuke gently pulled him away.

“…My bad.
It was all so sudden, and my mind still couldn’t catch up with all of this.
Can you give me more time to think about this?”

Satori nodded his head as he felt Sousuke’s desire to be alone.
Sousuke walked past Satori and headed straight to the bedroom.

(I can’t believe that Sato was actually a spirit… No, not Sato, he’s Satori.
Does that mean he had always waited for me all this time? All by himself… Was that creepy guy Satori’s friend? He seemed to know more about Satori than I did.
Could it be that Satori can hear all of these thoughts too?)

Satori could feel Sousuke’s feeling of distress and confusion coming from the bedroom.

It was hard for Satori to see that Sousuke was suffering.
But it was him who made Sousuke feel that way.
That fact hurt Satori’s heart more than anything else.
He didn’t come here to make Sousuke feel that way.

Satori thought that he shouldn’t hear Sousuke’s thoughts, Sousuke probably didn’t want his thoughts to be heard.
But even if he were to cover his ears, he still could hear Sousuke’s thoughts whether he wanted it or not. 

I wish I didn’t have this ability.

For the first time in his life, Satori hated this ability that he had never wished for.

–I shouldn’t stay here.

A white fluffy spirit jumped around Satori’s feet, asking him to play together.

Satori gently stroked the white fluffy spirit and quietly left the room while trying not to make a sound.